•¤星辰轩•夜雨阁¤•

给幸福道别

2012-02-12T14:08:00.003+08:00

不知道是为了什么，努力的挨过了昏黄的懵懂。也不知道是什么，督促着自己更努力的生活。或许是那个曾经与我一起了4年多的她吧。

已经几个星期了，我想她的伤，已经好了些吧。乐天的她，应该不会在伤心的十字路口徘徊很久吧。

当初在一起时的甜蜜，还腻在梦中，在那个我们相识的网络游戏中。我不是个记性好的人，但我是记得的，记得承诺的那个瞬间。或许，虚幻与现实，是不可能同行的吧。生活在残酷的现实里，梦幻似的虚构世界变得多么的美好，令人留恋。可是，再美的梦，都会醒吧。

而我的梦，终于在年夜的雨中，作完了。我意识到，我的梦，已经和她的梦，步上分歧路。

是时候了，该醒了。

悲伤的时候，是很痛心的。想要哭，眼泪盈满眼眶，却离不开。或许，我的心，已经不再感到任何痛楚了吧。几时的事呢？可能是那个，激动流泪的晚上吧。

醒了，放开了。但忘不了。那时的承诺还荡漾在心湖，却再也激荡不了涟漪。因，我心已静。

感谢你。感谢你，让我爱上了。也感谢你，爱上了我。

但愿未来的日子里，你会幸福。

曾经爱过你的我，衷心地祝福。

如夏。暑

2011-11-14T15:00:00.007+08:00

《如夏。暑》——残星集。吟
风未飒
盛夏酷暑
琉璃烁闪耀灵框
　
雨未洒
烈阳晴空
冰魄凛沥辉尘荒

凉风不起，听不见风儿吹拂树叶的飒飒声。白昼如夏天般炎热。热气导致门前的花树像是中暑般的了无精神，都静静的。停泊在门前的轿车，那透彻的车镜反射着艳阳的光芒，隔着树荫不住闪烁，这耀眼的光辉可折腾了路过者的眼睛了。

滴雨不落，听不见下雨时的稀里哗啦。猛烈的太阳高高地挂在晴朗的天空中，如此的天气，看来是不会下雨了。桌上放着杯冰凉的冰开水，溶化的冰块，凝结起点点水气，慢慢沿着杯子滑落。隔着那点点结晶，望着水滴后方的灰尘，恰巧发觉，如洪荒般的尘土，也有着迷人的光辉。

* * * * *

（后）

桌上摆着笔电，眼定定的望着门外的天晴，一手托腮，扶着出神的脑袋瓜；另一只手摸着那凝结起水气的玻璃水杯，续而提起指尖，沿着杯口来来回回。“有心事吧？只有在有心事的时候，才会这样的出神吧。也是只有这个时候，才会这样的独自飞白吧。”

“是有心事的，只是，这是心里的事儿。”他说。“你知道的，有很多事情，并不能说出口。虽然很想跟人分享，但并不是每个人都会是静静的聆听者。”提起了那杯冰开水，缓缓地喝了一口。

“你不说的话，又怎么知道别人不会听呢？”扫了扫桌角，他坐了上去，“太多的心事藏在心里，你会开心不起来的。”他挽了挽滑下长发。

他不语，只是再喝了一口冰凉。

“你呀，就是喜欢把事情憋在心里。”他望着眼前这个熟悉的陌生人。当他闷着时，就连最亲近的自己都会以为他只是一个陌生人。原因无它，只是因为他会板起一幅臭脸，说话不分尊卑，给人一种近而远之的感觉。但也是这样的他，这样的真诚地把自己真实的一面让别人看见。

“不要这样看着我啦。超不好意思。”他又喝了一口冰开水。脸上有着不自然的绯红。

“你就看开些吧。有些事情，不想管的，就让它去吧。板着一幅臭脸，可是没有人喜欢的。还会被人说你没礼貌呢。”

“我知道。但我就是不喜欢。不喜欢，也接受不了一丝不公平的对待。在我的眼里，不应该只有一方面的讨好或者给与呀。我知道我不可能全部都对，但为什么委屈的一定要是受的一方呢？难道给与的一方就是全对的吗？他们就不会有错吗？”说完，他把杯中余存的冰开水一饮而尽了。眼中还看得见熊熊的火苗。

“当你放开了，不再介怀了，你就不会烦恼这一切了。”整了整再次滑下的长发，他说，“当你认为委屈的是自己，而迁怒他人时，那别人也不是有着和你一样的想法吗？”他耸了耸肩，“学着看开些吧，你会开心点的。”

“……希望如此。”他偏头望向笔电的黑色银幕。

“都是傻瓜。长不大的傻孩子。”他轻笑。怀念当初的自己。

如霜。梅

2011-08-17T12:46:00.003+08:00

七月阴寒，但话昼旭日高升，如入炎夏之处。午后飘雨，骤至午夜梦回时，则如霜寒漠夜。

清风夜雨，悄悄已落八月夜。

午间魂游，迷散幽幽红尘中。常想，人生不过转眼，何不逍遥轻松走一回。然，与红颜一聚，惊觉潇洒不过云烟空谈，如无心插柳，则翠柳不长；如无能耕耘，则五谷不丰；如无欲醒觉，则万事不兴。

但凡人本无求，皆因一时之欲念，方用心、尽能为所欲以谋。省思吾身，是否有欲有求？因有欲，吾需摒弃恶习；因有求，吾需奋斗，已达至吾所求也。

凡人皆烦人，人不烦则人不凡兮。无欲无求或活得轻松优游；但凡者思烦则长其智，且智长则志明。如是乎，欲明其志者皆凡身解烦以至豁达，深省其身以看透幽幻雾迷。解之，无恼。

自省其身，宛如曝身于寒风冰霜中。一字记之于曰：“动”。不动则冻，动则懂。穿透风霜，决见枯树林立，白雪寒梅满枝及。

如雾。迷

2011-07-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

昏昏沉沉的，又经过了一小段平淡的生活。兜转了三年，我还是时不时会被这么的一个疑问把自己绊倒。并不算是意志薄弱，但有可能是强作镇定，或许是逃避着、不敢面对；可是，这个问题就像是潜行在我脑海里的刺客，一直伺机而动。而近期的我，精神不是很好，一时松懈，竟让他趁机而入了。

它，就是我的自我价值观。而它，只问了我一句话。它说：你认为你在这里的价值是什么？

这么的一句话，再次让我已经平息的心湖，泛起了阵阵涟漪。

我了解我不该怀疑自己的能力，也没有可能猜疑自己的存在价值，但这么的一句话，真的让我的心，灰了半截。

这或许是另一个心理考验，抑或是一个令人省思的时刻。

面对着红尘种种，我似一名旅客，带着一种旁观者的态度去看待映入灵魂之窗的一切，但无奈，独身清傲，却不过是凡人。随旋律跳动的，不过是颗较为淡漠的凡心。世间种种，无不跳动我的心弦。

我心淡然，如隔水雾，相视不相见，无视、无言。

也因，我心淡然，使我在浓浓雾水中，忘了方向、忘了目标、甚至忘了自己。

更因为，一时的迷失，我知道，坚、毅、韧，是我的欲求。为了一个清明的我。

清风夜雨。情难

2011-07-21T16:16:00.007+08:00

对于爱情，我不过是一个初出茅庐的初哥。但是，面对了各色各样的爱情关系，（当然不是我本身的啦），或多或少在无形中增长了一点点的知识。

面对爱情，成人的相处模式是有点可笑的。或许，不是他们本人的意愿，但他们的承诺往往在一纸合约的背后，慢慢地被遗忘。当初许诺的永恒，当初许诺的山盟海誓，还有当初的美好，好似都敌不过婚姻这一道枷锁。那么，婚姻到底是一纸幸福的承诺，还是幸福的绝交书呢？

或许错并不在人，或许是外面的世界有着太多的诱惑，或是家室压力大，人吗，怎么都需要休息的。可能就这么的一个念头，完美的婚姻就被划伤了。

但可笑的是，第三者的出现，往往责任就会追究在男人的身上。因为你的定力不足，伤害了家中的贤妻，也破坏了你的婚姻。是不是有错的都是男人呢？既然男人都过不了第三者的诱惑，那么为什么女人还是喜欢男人呢？更可悲的是，有时候第三者并不是异性。

或许，这跟性别是没有关系的吧。

回归初衷，爱情是怎么一回事呢？

对我而言，爱情是一种感觉。它也是一种人与人之间的依靠、依赖，当然这只建立与异性之间的。但并不代表每一位异性之间的感情都会发展成爱情。例如父母和子女之间的，是亲情；兄弟姐妹之间的，是亲情；朋友之间的，是友情。

爱情是一种生命中的调味料，它的出现为一个，两个人的生命充满色彩。它可以是一种必要“MUST”，或者是一种需要“NEED”。但它本身并没有一个定位，取或舍都在于当事者的决定。没有任何人，要有爱情，她的人生才会完整；也没有人，要有爱情，他的人生才不会是黑白的。

爱情，是简单易明的，但同时，它却繁复难懂。

当我们还是孩童时，我们的爱，不仅仅对某个他/她。对我们好的人，好的事，甚至是好的生物，我们都说我们爱。简单的：它在我不开心时安慰我、逗我开心，所以我爱它；他帮我吓跑了可怕的狗狗，所以我爱他。

是不是当我们的年龄慢慢地增长的同时，我们（对爱情）的要求也越来越苛刻、复杂、难以满足呢？这时的我们，爱，的前面，会多了一个字——不。

例：我想要的，他买不到给我，满足不了我，使我哭了，我说：“你已经不爱我了！”但我并没有意识到，他的钱包里只剩下两天的零用钱。

或者：一个重要的日子，他答应了回来庆祝，匆匆忙忙忙碌了整天，但他却一个电话回来，临时加班，回不了，我不悦，生气了，我说；“你不爱我了！”把电话关上。却不知道，他加班是为了挣钱买我想要的包包。

你可以说我是男的，所以我的例子都是帮着男子。但看着看着，会不会觉得（男人）有点情有可原呢？

身为男子，大多都被传统古老的思想束缚着。什么“男人有泪不轻弹”、“男人流血不流泪”、“男人大丈夫”这一类的说法，无形间已经灌输了一种男人必须承担一切，并且能够有所担当的才叫作男人的影响。也因此，大部分的（男人）已经习惯了把痛苦都藏在心里。

女人发泄的方法，可以和一大班朋友“唱衰”自己的男人、可以用信用卡疯狂地购物、可以不管三七二十一的大哭大闹一场。但身为男人的我们，身边有对多少的知心朋友可以宣泄自己内心的悲痛、想到之后要支付的信用卡的费用后，还有多少的东西是我们可以胡乱挥毫的、又有多少的时间可以给我们痛快地哭一场呢？不同于女性的豁达、勇敢，有的男性，只能默默地在没开灯的房间里无声的掉泪；有的，沉迷于酒池肉林；更有的，放弃了……。

爱情，来得快，也去得快。可是，爱情并不是拥有。如果真要把“爱情”定位，我想“共生。同长”会是一种模式吧。简简单单的，“一共生活，共同成长”，便好了。如果豁达，我会说：“不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。”，但这个时候的我，会说:“开心也好，痛心也罢，重要的是，此刻还有她在身旁”。

爱情，是简单易明的，但同时，它却繁复难懂。

萤星。叹

2011-07-01T19:19:00.003+08:00

归自友人的生日会。是开心的，是享受的。同时，也是感叹万千的。

短短的数月相隔，大家已不如从前的年少了。“一日不见如三秋兮”，可真的是形容的恰当十分。随着年月流转，当年的轻狂都被磨灭得十之八九了，换上了的是‘未来’的前部曲——奋斗。为此，脸上免不了不经意地挂着历经风尘的笑意。

或许是忘了烦恼，或许是记起了往昔的欢乐，或许是各自的真实，大家都玩开了。弹起了音乐，唱起了旋律，玩起了游戏，放下了，却又拿起了。

苦劳艰辛崖上行，

挥汗奋搏，年少青春逝不停；

轻松欢愉乐中听，

忘忧歌颂，青年快乐应尽兴。

“朋友”，是不论何时都会陪伴在你的生活里的。

“朋友”，是你孤单夜空中的微小星辰。闪烁点点如风中烛，却皎洁如夜里月。

归途路上的星星，如往昔。伴随着明月，静静地，温吞地发着光亮，如指路之幽绿萤火。

如风。轻

2011-04-23T14:24:00.004+08:00

久违了，我的心情。

炎炎白昼似不尽，潇潇夜雨恨不淋。

在写完了这么一句，我惊觉我常常在我的诗文中使用着风雨，星辰，而夜雨更是文中的常客。这可能是本人的风格吧（看吧，风来了。）我向往自由，但不期待失去；我愿意默默相随，但不求名。

我也像雨，默默付出，为了耕耘。但雨下不适时，却又遭人遗弃。唯有暗自在角落，茫然的哭泣，如阴天的雨。孤独的。似夜雨，独自徘徊在寂静幽暗之中。默默的、默默地，付出自己，就算等待的还是黎明。

像是星辰。星罗棋布的遍洒在穹苍之上，淡淡地，反射着光芒。为了游牧的方向，不断地点点亮。以为自己并不重要，但没想到，熄灭的星火，却宛如希望的幻灭。就这样，再一次放弃了休息的轮回。

如风，我向往自由，但不期待失去；我愿意默默相随，但不求名。

要说飘渺人生，游走红尘，在世人无不踢踏浮云、流连云烟的话，我也不是无所求的。要知道，我也不过是一介凡人，有欲有求实在不过分吧。

人生匆匆数十载，开怀大笑不过几十秒。放下烦恼，开心就好！愿烦恼烦恼如尘，随轻风微风吹散~

Mood - emo

2011-04-22T21:32:00.002+08:00

Huhu.. Time flied, again.. Being in this moody emotion for weeks, but it doesn't seem to reach the limit yet.. Ah.. Tired.. Everyday is a tired moments for me.. Need to wake up soon, and fast~!

Can't help myself when there is more and more unsolved problems keep popping out during anything.. This is so stressful~ Pif, will try to learn, to learn to be more easy going, especially on the mood.. It's useless to putting too much pressure on yourself, am I right. Yeah.. Should have change myself for a better solution, toward all the problems that cause emo-ness..

Huhu.. After some incident that had happened not long ago, I've keep "the sword" remain in its' cover.. The sharp razor always hurt other, and even oneself.. So, it's time to pretend as an wooden sword other than keep on showing the true blade, for the sake of others.. But this is hard, very hard till I have to hold my breathe each time to prevent myself to reveal myself as a razor.. Time to learn to keep the things down..even the pride, as this is necessary for the world.. (not that serious maybe, haha)

Honestly, it's been a while since I've smile from my heart out.. It's not that I didn't faced the happy moments, just that I'm not happy to simply put a smile on my face.. Getting tired to act fake.. I do smile or laugh when i'm happy, and my smile or laughter is not an "order" of someone else.. Huhu.. Fine, done for the craps talk.. Haha~

Mood :

Emo like the weather -- Raining, sunshine, raining, lightning, raining~

Lack of Motivation~

2011-04-11T19:48:00.002+08:00

Starting was trying to write a post with chinese, but after some times facing the screen, I realized that, i cant and not yet write down anything.. It make me start to think: did I lost my inspiration and passion after wandering in the society?

For 3 years, I'd start working. For all the time I did concentrate on my work, I noticed my brain stop to function bit by bit.. Did the thinking of logical will decreased the inspiration of imagination, which is somehow something not real / logic? I need the answer or the ways to handle this matter.

It's been too long.. Taken too much time to finished something.. Either is too much of distraction or desire out there in the world, or inside here in the internet that drag someone to stop or delay his / her works? Or is it the real world give the peoples too much of pressure? I need an answer too, for this question.

Ahhhh~!

My progression~ I wanted to finish you a.s.a.p~!! But why you give me facebook and so many thing that make me no mood for you~

My inspiration~ Please come back~ I wan you to guide me back on the creative side~ Oh~oh~Only you~can make my day~ XD

Mood :

Feel like wanna dance till all the bone being smashed into ashes.. X.X

心情驿站

2011-03-22T20:09:00.002+08:00

或许有人会认为部落格是一种宣传的工具，也有人认为它是一种浪费心神的日记，这样的想法是没有错的。而在我看来，还有我涂写部落格的目的，只是想要和大家分享我的心情，我的故事，当然还有我的生活。

有兴趣的人不妨抽空阅读我的故事，但我的故事有它自己的颜色，请不要为它们铺上不必要的色彩。

这里的故事有的是虚构，有的是想法，有的是曾经。文中的人物可能不存在，章里的地方可能是幻想，不要因为相似而感慨万千哦。 =）

最后，欢迎你们来到我的心情驿站。 ^^

Day - 22/03/11

2011-03-22T19:57:00.002+08:00

Finally, realized what I'd done is linked with other people's life. Yes, been wanting to have some connection with the peoples out there, but didn't realize that, when you're into something, even a simple thing you wanna do also will influenced the others. In another way of talking, it's to be said that your freedom is being limited.

For the 1st sec, I do think it should be a good thing that when you gain something then you will on the other hand lost something, it's a rule I would say. But after somehow, I think I've got it wrong.

Possible that it's a rules that worked without your notice. But sooner or later, when you noticed the fact your lost your precious things in trade of something else which didn't seem that useful, you might start to realized that, it's not the way you want it to be.

In this world, there is no more privacy, in someway it does mean that no more mercy. People could do anything to make sure their benefits is not reduced, as there is WAR. Here is the cruel and cold hard facts in this world..

Mood :

Been thinking hard.. (focus~ X.X)

Losing my own steps

2011-01-29T02:15:00.002+08:00

Yeah. It's late. Or I should say, it's early in the morning? Never mind, this doesn't make any changes.

Been awhile that I haven update my blog. So, here, I just simply write down what I had gone through for these days.

Jobs on hand getting better as experiences gained by learning from anybody, even from their scolding. Side works, on the other hands, didn't seem to get as well as my jobs. Many i'm not "hungry" enough to get into the passion of doing it? Possible, I might say.

Inspirations. Kinda losing himself from my sight or senses since last month. Been in the empty mode for couples of time. Not a great stage if you ask me. It's make people lazy and crazy. Perhaps, not he playing hide and seek with me, but is me that keep him away from my area. For what reasons? Maybe I'm bored to facing it? Nah, just a joke. What on my mind, for joking like this? No idea, same to me. Just trying to focus on the jobs for the mean time. But not for long, I think.

Relation(s)? With family is getting better, but it's more suffering. My sis married. It's not a bad thing, but it's a wonderful thing. But what i felt is : Loneliness. Ya.. Sure will miss my sister, although she's not far away from where I living right now. just that the feeling is no longer the same, as she already other's family member. What to do, she can't take care of me and family for life. I knew that. For relationship, it's a complicated thing right now. Hard to tell. Just due to business of both sides, the communication seem to be reduced. But hopefully the feeling won't be cut down. It won't, I would say. Nothing much, just let it like this as we all need our own time and space to complete our goals. For friendship, kinda not easy. Hard to tell when your BFF is no longer nearby. Although that is not my only friend, but it still make me feel lonely for some times sometime. Nothing to be worried. It will just be fine, that's what i tell myself everyday.

So, I think this is all I wanna share. After i wrote this, I feel somehow relieved. Let me take a rest, then I'll rush again~!! Go Go Go~!!

Mood :

Swaying like a swinging swing. Many thing to do and try yet time is not enough for me to do all. It's not a reason, but it's complicated for me. Cheer~!!

茫然

2010-11-28T21:21:00.002+08:00

人生的大道应该是逐渐清晰的吧。但我的路途越走，就好像越迷糊。并不是我看不见奋斗的目标，或者失去了奋斗的精神，只是渐渐对茫然的道路感到疲惫。

或许我是真的很懒，懒得社交、懒得努力、懒得敷衍、甚至懒得懒惰。但对于一些我感兴趣的事物，我可不会懒得去管哦。我迷上歌唱，虽然五音不全；我迷上绘画，虽然不是很有天分；我迷上文字，虽然不是学富五车，但我迷上的，我都会尽力尝试。

最近，在新的工作环境里打滚着，间接的学了一些有的没的，正确的不正确的生意知识。但也在同时，见识了很多我从来没有想过我自己会接触的东西。撇掉对某些人、事、物的不爽，说真的，我还蛮喜欢我现在的工作的。

可惜的是，我喜欢的，并不是我想要的。就是因为我心中存在着各种各样的矛盾，我无法全心全意地热恋我喜欢的东西。这也是我对前途感到茫然的原因吧。

但无论如何，还是得让自己振作起来，否则，就如逆水行舟了。

为了我，为了她，加油！！

心情：

猛猛地甩自己多个耳光，在痛苦中重燃奋斗的精神！

（不过还真的是蛮痛的。。 T_T)

不动-无惭

2010-11-17T18:15:00.003+08:00

有很多的事情并不是我们凡人所能掌控的。有很多事情我们想要去做，但理智却让我们只停留在“想”的情况，而并没有像心那样“做”出行动。

看着某些事故发生在眼前，我们会懊恼我们没有作出“应该”的行动，我们会反复地在行为上，精神面上责怪自己的无能。但想想，我们是无能吗？我们有能力去解决吗？为什么我们只是想做，却没有做？

或许，这就是现实。任何一种生物，不论你有多么伟大，多么强大都好，潜意识里都有一丝共识——自己。

对。就是自己。我不是否认真的有人可以无私地贡献自己，但人们做的种种，不论好事或坏事，或多或少都把自己的利益隐藏在无私的举动中。你可能会否定我的意思，但仔细想一想吧。

国家：古代各个皇帝，美其名目要一统山河，为的是人民的生计、国泰民安，但是，烽火连天的时候，受苦的是谁？流离失所的是谁？在战争中失去亲人的又是谁？还不是平民百姓吗！战争过去了，安稳的日子开始了，人们感激众战士的牺牲。他们接受着人们的赞扬。但面对战争背后的生与死，谁该付出责任？追究责任前，我有些问题：为什么认为和平一定要站立在战争之后？谁决定生死战乱后的风平，就会带来永远的浪静？如果答案不是“绝对肯定”的解答，那么该皇帝发起战争的目的何在？一统江山，这个千秋大梦该醒了。战斗的心，人皆有之。为了扩展自己的领土，为了向他国展现己国的能力，为了史记留名，这才是战争的原动力吧。

这是——名的诱惑。

政治：有国家的开始，就有了政治的存在。同时也是众多思想家、政治家的发掘期。表面的国家政治是他们为国家提出了很多方面的政策，为的是改善人民的生活水平，增强各族的和谐，但是暗地里发生的事是没有人知道的。“官字两个口”也是古时代的经典话语。说的是，大官下达的命令是什么什么，小官得到的命令却是那样那样，说的和做的是两码子的事。为什么官与官会传出这样的乌龙？那么就要问问他们咯。自私自利，人皆会之。有先考虑别人安危的人，并不代表没有不会考虑自己利害的。顾得了别人，别忘了自己。一字记之若：识。

如是乎——利的陷阱。

为了曾经而后悔，是没有错；

为了曾经而惭愧，也没有错；

为了曾经而懊恼，都没有错。

后悔，能将过去挽回吗？

惭愧，能将过去挽回吗？

懊恼，能将过去挽回吗？

不能，不能，不能。

不论我们多么想要为曾经做些什么，但发生了就发生了，我们没有办法挽回什么。那一秒的逝去已经成为定局了，要做些什么，不如勇敢面对下一秒吧。

时间不会后退，就像生命的齿轮不会逆转。上了“牙”，它只有到了尽头才会停止。每个“齿轮”都安安分分的履行自己的责任，对于停止了的不相干的其他，只能观看着。不论怎么想帮助它，都不能停下来，因为停了，自己的旅程也停了。

《孤影》

2010-11-17T02:12:00.006+08:00

孤独酝酿静寂，

夜雨荡漾红尘。

单影相随寂寞，

涟漪泛起飘叶。

《路。途》

2010-11-12T10:30:00.012+08:00

独步无尽道，徘徊迷茫路，往返岁月径，踏上繁生途。

《路。途》

数周前，和我心爱的人跟一伙朋友出席了Sunway University Collage 的 Animangaki 2010. 是不错的一天。我不知道他们怎么想，但我还是蛮享受那忙碌中的一丝空闲，至少对我而言，忘忧在愉快的气氛下，陶醉在经典的动画主题曲中，是难得的悠闲呀。

在休息的那一小段时间里，我和“熊猫”离开了大队，闲逛着的我们找到了一处小花圃。那里零零散散地开着黄色的小花。旁边还有一小段路阶。原本的计划是要让我学习DSLR的用法和基本常识，同时她想要帮我们的朋友拍摄一些样品。但不知怎么搞的，我竟然漫无目的地在路阶上徘徊。而这一瞬间就被她摄下来了。

看回照片，感觉不错。但，感觉还没到。所以？来回尝试咯~

作了点变化，有了成品。是有点单调。至然而然的，我的脑袋不住摸索着，记录了这词。我述说着人生，但人的一生有多少的不确定，所以会有共鸣的人还蛮少的。

孤单酝酿静寂，夜雨荡漾红尘。我期望有缘人与我分享这一份迷惘。

漠视

2010-10-28T21:31:00.002+08:00

不要把我当作小孩！虽然说我的年纪比你们小，但不代表说我所经历的事情会比你们少。如果是其他人你们倒还可以当之为少不更事的小伙子，向他们诉说你们当年的年少事情，但对我来说，你们是我的朋友，要和我讨论我还可以接受，但要我盲目的接受你们“想当年”的那套处世道理，我或许要向你说一声：对不起了。

是，你们是比我年长，但在某一些方面，我可不会输给你们呢。我也承认你们是比我能干，比我更会想事情，但我不允许有人不重视我的付出。我不爱出风头，更不爱抢风头，你交代什么，我都会尽可能的去将之完成。但如果说，你不喜欢我的做事风格，你可以纠正我，我会慢慢的接受。可是，假如，我把东西完成了，你不说一语，抑或完全不珍惜的话，那么对不起了，我不会再涉足那样东西了，你就把他拿回来，自己解决要好。

你肯纠正我的话，我会拼死做出你要的东西。反之，我会以“四两拨千斤”将之物归原主。

每个人都有自己的一套原则、规矩，没有人可以随意把他人的意志批评得一文不值。也没有人可以轻易地忽视别人的苦心。或许，你有你的想法，我能接受，就是不怎么认同。你有你的理由，但我也有我的自尊，我虽小，可我也是人，请你尊重我的理由。

有些东西，得过且过；有些东西，却不得不握紧一些。你说我对“它”执着，那你何尝不是对某些事物表露出自己固执的一面吗？

好啦，发泄完了。心情平复了。

好了，我承认我有点“迷茫”了。但我的忧虑并不是贸然的。你说的道理，我也明白，只是不大能理解你的动机就是了。谁对谁错，很难说。人的决定就像是钱币，一面是公，而另一面就一定是花，谁也说不来。

心情：

好似还没吃，却已经溶化了的冰淇淋

凡心。繁心

2010-10-28T02:24:00.002+08:00

不知道已经有多久没有“涂鸦”我的部落格了，在这凌晨的静寂中，我还无法入睡，便上来“坐坐”吧。

人生在世，多多少少都有时候会胡思乱想吧。虽然我不是很相信星座论，但无可否认的，我的个性就像是活生生的天秤座。该有的、不该有的，统统都在我身上表现无遗，就似被赋予生命的天秤座。

我的朋友经常都说我凡事不要指望坏的方向想，想一想好的，或许你就不会眉头深锁了。通常我夺回一笑而置之。我并不是没有幻想过好事的发生，只是有些时候，你做了最坏的打算后，你就能不顾一切的往前冲，因为，如果最坏的事真的发生了，但你已有了心理准备，有了应变的能力，那么你还怕什么呢？

也因为我这多虑的性格，我经历了很多。它也激发了我某些潜能。我是感激它的，虽然，我渐渐失去了自我。

给我麻烦、想太多的心，一首诗：

《凡心》

心静，神自怡；心动，情难禁。
心平，事好商；心烦，简亦缠。
心阔，穷变通；心窄，视闻短。
心勇，责少谋；心顿，步怯止。
心善，债人愧；心坚，缘恐绝。
心慈，感凡生；心邪，孽满手。
心悦，众皆乐；心痛，残其觉。
心清，晓至理；心浊，万恶起。

思想之二。污染

2010-09-25T12:57:00.003+08:00

针对不同的事物、事件，不同的人在不同的情况下都会产生不同的思考模式，做出不同的行动，从而导致不同的结果。

但个人的思想通常都带有一些不肯定，所以在犹豫不决的时候，多了一个“感染源”的话，那他的决定或者思考就极度可能被改变。但并不一定每个人都会被“感染源”所影响的，只要他清楚前因后果，并拥有可以思考的脑袋，那他被影响的几率就会低一些。

“感染源”的存在就像是变异了的细胞，它们和癌细胞无异，会慢慢侵蚀其他好的细胞。但要了解一点，它们的本质也是细胞的一分子，只是被“污染”了，而失去了“理智”，并极其“本能”的“吞噬”其他存在。

要消灭被“污染”了的“细胞”是有很多种方法的：电疗、服药，还有很多很多。但是，所有的治愈方法都会对“本体”构成一定的伤害。而且，被杜绝的“细胞”还有可能会卷土从来，或者，还没被消灭就导致“本体”的灭亡。更不能确保被消灭的一定是“被污染”了的细胞。

无可否认，“癌细胞”一旦袭击，“本体”的“本质”就会被污染，就如同人的思想，无时无刻都面对着被外来的“污染源”影响的压力。不想被污染，就惟有“固本培元”打好基础，做好砥柱，免得被“浊流”带走。

“污染”的严重程度犹如日渐严重的“全球暖化”。做好自己，为我们的未来打算比较好。

思想之一。观点

2010-09-13T20:57:00.002+08:00

人类是一个很有趣的生物。有很多事情，明明有一些很直接的方法就能把问题解决，但是往往会有人就是有能力把小事，化成大事，然后用一些意想不到的手法把问题“搞定”。这听起来有点荒谬，但是，这是事实，也是我总括了某些事件后，所得出来的（个人）结论。

是很有趣的。他们是很聪明，知道要第一时间把问题解决。这是值得赞许的。但可惜，他们把问题看得有点太过主观了，导致他们只看见他们本身的利益，地位，关系，也因此，他们在有意或无意间伤害了他人的名誉，利益。

我是很想就事论事的，很想要提出我个人的观点和别人分享、讨论。但可悲的，我不能说，也不能写，更不能提。所以，我只能说说我的论点咯。

我是认为啊，有问题出现时，第一点是把问题解决，也对啦。但是，如果没能顾及全部人的感受，那么何不花一点时间，讨论出一个两全其美的解决方案，才下定论呢？但原因我或许可以理解——你要双方都好的解决方法？可以，等咯！

其实是蛮好笑的啦，两全其美很难吗？如果有一方不介意吃一点小亏，然后得到的方法是双方都满意的，那不就好了吗？但是，为什么有那么的一些人就一定要使吃亏的那个人呢？为什么所有的东西都要以他为尊呢？他就不能吃一次亏吗？还是，他认为他高高在上，而他就得永远在他脚下摇尾乞怜啊？但也罢了，事件已成过去，也没了讨论的价值了。

就这样吧，就说到这。

最后，想要说的是，凡是，不要太过先入为主，应全面思考，再下定论。顾及他人，适时放手，合理结局，何乐而不为呢？

Life Like Usual

2010-09-12T14:19:00.003+08:00

Time flied. Walking slow on the road. With my mobile phone in my pocket, and my headset on my head, in my ears, with the music playing, I spending my today with random n freedom. The sun is scorching just like usual, but with the smooth wind blowing, it's not that warm in the atmosphere.

Wandering around. But not in the real world. Faces passed. I hear laughter, tears, and silent. Follow the sign, I found what people call Life. From what I've seen, there is freedom. From what I feel, that's boredom. Weird? Ya, it's weird. But when free, and you got nothing to do so that's boring.

Suffering. From the pain. That's awful. And, that's sad. It's just a destruction. Destruction of happiness and the confidentially built sweetness. What caused it? From what we understand, it's our communications.

Forgetting. What had happened. Covering. Tried to cover my pain from you. But it turned another way out. It's a freaking sad case. What to do. What can i do with my feeling, what can I do with your feeling? This is hard. Hard decision to make.

Passed. It's all history now. We still like usual. Argument. Happened, but end up, tighten our relation. It's complicated to explain. It's not an easy way to deal with. But we gained strength from what we faced. We beaten the pain. Although the pains within no longer can be erased.

Continue. Life still keep going, without any pending, as It won't stop for anyone of us. This is a facts, that cannot, and will not change for no matter what reasons.

Take a look into the sky. The sun is still burning hard. The wind still blowing softly. The song playing on my phone, is a song entitled "Not Afraid". Closed my eyes, I hearing it, straight into my heart. To my friend, the lyric start : "I'm not afraid~ To take the stage~..." To you all, is the courage from the heart within.

Face the Real

2010-09-02T22:13:00.003+08:00

So, after spending some times in the Facebook, I've finally make myself to believe in what I believe after all -- something really did influence the thinking of everyone or anyone who can't hold their faith, and changed those influenced into something we can't understand with common sense, on this, I called this category as -- Brainless.

Why I said so? To know that, we had been educated as a person -- some sort of highest ranked in the spirit world, with moral values like Tolerance, Rational, Respect Each Other, and Responsibility and many more of it. Then what I see from the few cases happened in our beloved land, during her birthday. I'm disappointed, totally disappointed..

When I was focusing on the news that spread around between friends, and even myself, I suddenly hear the slogan flied in the air. I was wondering. The ways we lived until today, not the unity that we wished for? Is there anything else from the meaning of unity? I wonder.

At the end, I've concluded with few of my friends, we will be the way we have to be, we will still love this land and proud to be a part of her no matter how. We will think before we started something that's not acceptable for others. At last, we wish her -- Happy Birthday.

Mood :

Confusing like hearing many Re-Mixed music.

Sick

2010-08-30T21:55:00.002+08:00

It's some of the bad days in my life.. Without notice, I get sick.. Sick of what I also dunno.. It all start by a cough, then it turned into flu, and then fever. This is sucks!

Oh my.. I should be "ge boh" like that, if I don't ask those questions, maybe I won't fall sick.. Damn, now only I realized it's been a trap.. Gerrhhh!

BROTHER, I HATE YOU. AND DUN EVER SAY THAT TOPIC IN FRONT OF ME ANYMORE! ESPECIALLY A MONTH (DAY) LIKE NOW!

Ahhh~~ When only my illness will cure~ I miss my activeness and all those curry and rendangs~

Sob~ Sob~

Mood :

Wanna eat all the thing I like~ Illness go away~!

Re-Start (After Resting 1 Week)

2010-08-23T00:07:00.002+08:00

So, here I am.. Finally, my happy relaxing times (days) had passed away. So, that mean, I'll start working starting Monday.

Had some great relaxing time during these few days. Although what am I doing was just sitting in front of the laptop and finishing my chapter 4. So, there is it, my chapter 4 really did finish the final touch-up. At last~

So, after having a great weekends with my love 1, and some full body massage (actually is bone adjusting massage), I'm recharged and ready for the coming hard works. Ush~!!

Was wanting to share more on what I had done on this whole week, but it doesn't seem that I have the mood to talk about it, because I really did act like wasting my precious time during this week. Cheh~ What you expect me to do as my planning for the moment is enjoy freedom?

But say the truth, I really did have some good rest during this free weeks. At least, I no need to bother what other may say, no need to think bout others, but just to be myself, and to live my days. I'm glad for the new company for allowing me to rest for so long before working for them. Appreciated! So, will try my best to help them back in returns.

Let my passion burn again! And I pay back with my fullest!

Mood :

Re-Starting of working mode.

Resting day 1

2010-08-17T11:25:00.002+08:00

Ok. Resigned. NOw really is enjoying my holiday. But not for a long time, just few days.

Just like that, 1 day already passed. And I really bored till nothing to do. Maybe working for those years, already knocked away my hobbies and interest. Still, I'm doing something I had to do although I not much feel like doing -- continue typing / writing my story, that progression is slower than snail walking.

AHHHH~!! Stress when the idea appear in mind but can't find the suitable words or sentences to key it out as a story. Erk~!!

After this delay and delayed chapter, next work is to translate a chapter (of another book) from english to chinese. This is my 1st text work (test), wish me luck!!

Mood :

Need few cups of hot & cold coffee, and the unlimited supply of music~

Countdown : 1 day

2010-08-14T08:41:00.002+08:00

OK.. Today is the last day, I though I'll be uneasy to leave this office. But I get it wrong, I feel so relaxed. Dunno why and I dunno how i drop down the feeling.

1 thing to be remember, I'm now no more related to the "battlefield". Haha! A great thing to celebrate~ At least I can really give myself a break after this.

When you say it's nothing to be worried about, in a sudden, I think back the time I've been spending in this company. Starting a small and unknown store keeper, until the purchasing executive that always being chased by others workers.. LOL

Ya.. Now is a time with perfect silent, no other sound beside the office except the keyboard hitting and the mouse punching sound. This situation make me think of 1 song : When You Say Nothing At All~

Better don't say anything, especially the word -- Goodbye. This will drag me down to the emotion. But who care about it~ Today Is My Last Day~ Pheee~~~ (mind flying in the sky)

Mood :

Uneasy, but can't wait to spread the wings, and fly away~

Countdown : 2 days

2010-08-13T10:51:00.003+08:00

Here, another day passed. I'm still blogging in my office as usual. Don't say I didn't do my work, I done it before I do my own stuff like what I doing now -- blogging.

Just wan to share my feeling, it's still as hard as the starting of the week when I know I'll be leaving soon. I know it's my decision to go, leave here, but dunno why, this uneasy feeling still bothering me. Yeah, I know it will be gone soon. So, I was keeping myself out of the "business" in the office. I won't bother what they had been doing all the time, even just online-ing. I need to be a stranger for all this if I don't wan that feeling pulling me down. Yeah, I'll be alright, before you noticed.

So, let's wait for it. Still got 1 more day. 1 more day to be a perfect stranger inside my office. It's hard to say about the feeling though. Hope the people after this take care of this department, and don't let it down so easily, as they are less experienced in handling those "demon in human pack".

I'll pray for you guys. Just hang on, and remember that, this is yours department, not your department, so, be it, take the teamwork spirit out! Then there is nothing to be afraid of!

All the best, pals.

Wishes :

Wanna have a nice rest after exercising. Been lazy for a weeks due to emotional distraction. X.X

Countdown : 3 days

2010-08-12T14:05:00.003+08:00

This is the 3rd day. 3 days before my resignation. Kinda hard to express what's the feeling that bothering me, in my head right now.

I feel free, and I can smell the sense of freedom around me, just like running on a big empty grassland.. Feel free to do anything I wished for so long since I ever start working in the society, at the early age of 17 till now. Wanna be free, wanna take a good nice rest, before I'm assigned to another place for survival.

It's a great feeling of being so free.. Free until like being ignored, not been cared by anyone..

Underneath the freedom that I dream, I feel unsafe, empty, unwanted..

I promised myself and my she, that I won't be emotional, nor too soft-hearted, but when it come to this kind of situation, I cant hold myself. Not to worry as I wont do anything harmful, maybe just be emo for couples of days. I been wondering, "is all the human like this? have to lose the things 1st before they starting to appreciate it?" From what I experienced in those years, I can say that : "Ya, that's human."

Never mind, it wont make me change my decision as it's already the final. Just hoping what I did now is what I needed. Ya. I need a place to work, in the same time, a place that is free from "mind pollution" and let me feel that I'm not working but instead I'm working.

Still the same words :

Freedom and random is what I wishing for~

The Final

2010-08-09T08:37:00.003+08:00

Yeah.. This is the final week. Things will getting more and more far away from me as I'll step on another path of my life. Life is nothing much, but just a drama waiting to be played until the end.

Life is full of emotions, truth & lies, love & hate. Nothing gonna change the rules of life being like this. This is life, our life.

Being the newer generation of the world aren't a bad thing as we accepted to be more modern, but it's aren't a good thing though as we been forgetting what our mission is, but we leading to destruction.

Life is Hard, yes it is. But when you think your road getting tougher, is because you got that something that the Highest afraid, so He trying to give you tests.

Ya. To believe, with believe.

Waiting

2010-08-03T11:43:00.001+08:00

Finally, it's another month. Many things are pending, waiting me to finish them. But I doesn't feel like I'll settle all of it. Maybe you'll wonder why, but the reason is simple as abc -- LAZY.

Haha.. It's my style of working maybe, I'll delay the work, but will try to get it done. Will late, but won't no do.

Possible that I'm a kind of person that won't rush for anything, but I did have the things I wish to rushing for. I can't understand, but I still being like that.

Maybe, I wont decide unless I knew what will happen, so, I'll wait, wait till a time or moment that I can fully predict what will happen only I'll get moving. It's not a good way of being an individual as in the fast and cruel world, yes I know, and I'd face all those creepy peoples.

But it wont be a matter, I'm still breathing, talking, laughing, in-loving, then that's all I want.

So, I'll be waiting, waiting for the right time.

Freedom~

担心？

2010-07-22T11:16:00.003+08:00

又一次，我在上班的时间做我私人的东西——部落格了。

或许，我对这间公司已经没有任何留恋了，所以我并不在乎“战况”如何了。

距离离开的日子，还有三个星期。

但，好笑的是，我还没离职，就已经有人找我跳槽了。而且，双方（对，两个公司;不包括我目前的公司）都是亲戚。天啊！@_@ 这么下去，是没完没了的。

其实，从我毕业（中五而已）以后，我已经开始工作了。

第一份工作，虽然辛苦，而且工资不是很高，但是是我目前做的最开心的一份工作。我那时结交了数位知心的友族同胞。当时的回忆，还满满的在我脑海里，挥抹不去。但是，开心不是必然的。因某人对权力的贪婪，我的梦，醒了。

第二份，目前的我。开始时，我济济无名。虽然工作时间与厂房同步，但我还是开心的。原因：轻松，没人管。不过，基于“物尽其用”的效应，我在短短的2～3个月里，辗转在3个部门里。忙是忙了，但日子还过得去。可惜。同样的，因为某人的自我中心，导致持续性的人才外流。我就被“抬举”了。从济济无名的小卒，连升两级，荣为采购部主任（当然薪水也是升两倍）。能力被肯定当然值得骄傲，但可惜，人言可畏。人们在背后说我靠关系进入这间公司，然后又发生了如此的人事调动，当然他们会看我为眼中钉。我是不怎么在乎啦，只是，近期的“流言蜚语”有点不堪入耳了些。所以，我执意离去。我知是很傻，但我并不后悔。

或许，我累了。如果可以，我希望不必工作。

担心？是担心的。但是决定了，就不希望给自己后悔的机会。

还是那句吧。

轻松、自在，是我目前的希望。

啊哈～真希望能好好的度过一个悠闲长假。

闲言闲语

2010-07-21T16:36:00.003+08:00

忙里偷闲。

人言：“偷得浮生半日闲。”

目视着平淡无趣的电脑荧幕，使我无心工作。一早上的奔波，终于在下午画上了句点。在距离放工的闹钟响起，还有那短短的数十分钟。闲来无事，就稍微偷“机”摸“鼠”一下下吧。

哈～

真的在一眨眼的瞬间，我在办公室打拼都有一段时间了哦。不多不少，有半年了呢。

回想起来，我的工作历程似乎有点太过平稳、顺利了。

开始时，仓库管理员。

两月后，到出售部帮忙。学以致用呗。

三月，脱离出售部的魔掌，进入采购部。凭着管理仓库时的知识，无惊无险的度过难关。

四月，城门失火，殃及池鱼。还没搞清楚状况，便被编进采购部。过着令人汗颜的文书工作。

五月，人才外流。关中无大将，“小人当道”。握着羽毛，胆小心细的接管采购部。

六月，安然无恙度过一路的腥风血雨。

七月，累了。。。

原来容易得到别人赞扬的人，在别人的眼中是一个碍眼的存在。抚着身上的“箭”伤，我累了。回想着，还是济济无名比较适合我。哈哈～

人的贪婪、自私。在办公室这一个战场上，我虽然身在其中，但一眼望去，还是一目了然的。

好的公司，不一定有好的员工；不好的公司，往往藏着好的员工。

人心难测。

平静下来后的雨天，闲言闲语飞入耳中，也不再刺耳。反而有一种听着娱乐新闻般的乐趣，就像是早晨的鸡啼，很烦、但是缺少了就不习惯。

我开始怀念这么一句话：

“我轻飘飘的来，轻飘飘的去。我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。”

悠闲、轻松，是我目前最向往的东西。

Sometimes

2010-07-13T11:48:00.004+08:00

There is always sometime, we feel lazy and don't want to do anything, even just a simple movement like moving our finger.

There is always sometime, we feel the energy and want to move around, even play or exercise until our singlet or shirt is wet n smelly.

There is always sometime, we feel like don't want to talk much although we have many topics and things to be discuss or chat.

There is always sometime, we feel like wanna talk a lot of things although we are just focusing on 1 topic, but there is the topic we can non-stop talking and discuss.

There is always sometime, we feel like don't want to be with anyone except our own self although we are deep inside the darkness.

There is always sometime, we feel like want to share anything happen on us toward everybody although it's a things that as tiny as a particle of ash.

You know what? Whenever is that sometime happen, whatever that sometime happen, wherever that sometime happen, you will always have at least somebody to share with. Just maybe your eyes had been binded, your ears had been covered, and your mouth had been stuffed, so you can't see a friend, can't hear a call, and even can't share your happiness..

Keep your faith and believe whatever, whenever, wherever, you need to share that sometime, at least somebody will always be there, just waiting for you, to share your every moments, nor happiness; sadness; anger; or anything you faced on the path of light and darkness..

To all my friends that I care, and to the special one I love, I wish to thanks you guys for sharing my so many sometimes, and make my life more complete.

For Friendships, we, a.k.a The Chao Gei Gang, will rocks on toward the future!

For My Love, we, a.k.a B&P, will hold our hands and moving toward the uncertain future.

Remember, we, always are friends till the end of everything..(sometime)

Start the New

2010-07-07T08:56:00.002+08:00

Tell ya what, I've got my own laptop le.. YEAH^^ Haha, maybe to some of you, owning a laptop is bot a big deal, but to me, it's a struggle decision to make when facing different brands, functions, specs, colours, designs of the laptop.. >.<

But no matter how struggle, (not to forget how hurt the decision to me) I've finally buy 1 laptop that I kinda like^^ DELL INSPIRON~ Haha.. Maybe it's not so nice for gaming or working, and having a quite heavy weight too, but I don't mind as that's the 1 I need.. Hoho^^

1st time spent so many money on a single object, I was thinking what would my family think bout it.. I thought it would be a disaster when I bring back to home, as I imagine they would scold me like hell.. But out of my expectation, my family didn't scold me but just ask me to take care of the laptop..like, don't put it in the car if not other ppl will break ur car n soso.. Kinda surprise me they didn't scold me or "black face" toward me, kinda happy and sweet^^

Lastly, followed by the purchase of the laptop, I might have to make another hard decision, although it maybe coz me to lose something, but just like buying the laptop, lose something to go the things I wan, I don't like making decision, but I'll accept whatever come in my path after the decision, or good or bad, with no regrets, but to keep on going until meet the end or boredom..

Hehe.. So, wish me luck on what I gonna do bah, appreciate those who comments for my posts. You guys de advises I all heard, so I will fight for a brighter life, grab the things that I wan, and try to achieve what it's in front of me..

(Finally, a post without black emotion.. XD)

时间

2010-06-17T11:24:00.005+08:00

慢慢的，我走了二十年。回想起我的童年，出现在我印象中的是风筝、空旷无人的沙地、脚踏车、数码暴龙机、还有那拼命追人的恶犬。

我喜欢风筝。看见它慢慢的飞起，会让我不住想像，我在飞～看见它，我梦想我的心也在空中翱翔～看那看那，看那“红色蜻蜓”飞在蓝色天空～哈哈^^

空旷无人的沙地啊～怀念啊。曾几何时，我家附近有一处开发着的沙地，（现在已经发展成为工厂了）。我们几个小鬼头经常结伴去那里“游山玩‘沙’”。还记得那时有着数座沙、石山。我们最喜欢玩角色扮演，幻想自己是爬山者，千辛万苦攀上最高峰，然后“一失足成千古恨”，一滑而下。刺激啊～但贪玩的后果是，灰头土脸的满身沙。哈哈^^结果呢？回家被父母骂咯。XD

Yeah.. Time really gone fast without our notice. For what we had experienced it, it's the memories to cherish. For those who we forgotten, they will still within, until the day, we met again.

When time rushed me to walk faster and further in my way of life, somehow, the memories of childhood, will flashed within my mind. Ya, I remember all the things that happened when I'm still a kid. What I remember the most -- lying on the soft sand, staring at the cloudy blue sky, with my best friends beside, after climbing up to the top of the sand mountain. It's peaceful. It's freedom that we wishing for after being tied to studies, assignments (not me), works, money, stress, love, and many more.

When we no longer have it, we find another way of freedom. I dunno where is yours, but I found my in the music. I admit that I'm not good in singing, but I enjoyed listening to music.. It's the peaceful world I can ever find.. Thanks for my someone also. She lead my way, and make it brighter. Thanks everyones^^

静

2010-06-16T09:30:00.002+08:00

曾几何时，我有过一段疯狂的欢乐时光，有过一颗平静好玩的童心。是什么时候，我把这两样东西，很重要的东西给遗忘了呢？是什么地方，我把它们遗弃了呢？

工作的担子在我的肩上不动声色地印下伤痕，爱情的轰烈看似渐渐被我遗忘了。我的生活开始变得不由自主，我的思绪缓缓地被侵蚀，只剩下黑暗。是什么？是什么挽留着我的感官？是什么让我在黑暗的命运路途中挣扎求存？是你吗？是的。是你。还有你。还有你们。

仔细想想，是什么时候我的部落格开始被涂上死亡的尘灰色，是什么时候黑暗也开始聚集在我的身边呢？被遗忘了。我的回忆也已经被我所遗忘了。开心的，在我脑海里；痛心的，在我脑海里；可惜的，在我脑海里；被遗忘，在记忆里。

或许，我的世界，我的真实是我的反面吧。记得有一天，我做了一个梦：
这里是迷宫。各式各样，上下左右都是楼梯，每一个楼梯的尽头都有一扇门。每一扇门的后面，都通向各个不同的记忆里；而有一些门则是回到梦的起点--迷宫。每一扇门都试了，每一种道路都走过了，剩下一扇被锁链封锁的破旧木门。挣脱了生锈的锁链，撬开损坏的木门。这是一间很小的密室。黑暗的角落，有着一个消瘦的小男孩。没有表情，但脸上流着殷红的眼泪。然后，他望向我，对我说，不要回来，忘了这里。而后，我醒了。

我，曾经怀疑过我有精神分裂症。

或许吧。但，我还是正常的。不要害怕，不要远离我。我没有可以伤害任何人的爪牙。

我会安静的等。安静地等待。一切都很安静。就像我梦境中，楼梯尽头的小密室里一样。

Down.Down.Down

2010-06-01T16:20:00.002+08:00

Yeah.. Finally got my name printed on the name card~ And I've my own name card dy~ HOHO~ PURCHASING EXCECUTIVE~ Wuahaha~

But I don't really happy like what I'm Typing as you can see it from my title. Been promoted and get a better pay sure is a great thing to b celebrate, I supppose, but dunno why, this can't cheer me up much. Dunno what I'm thinking? Either do I. I did imagine when would I feel if I had my own position in the company and can proudly give peoples my name card, I would be very happy and proud. But it turns another way round when it become true.

I hate to say this, but I'm really not a good person to give orders and making decision. And even more, I can say I'm not a good worker as I don't like to work following orders. I wanna be free!!

Haih.. Panda's right. I have to plan my life. If really wanna study now, will be late dy mah? I think the answer is maybe. But life's so long, who can tell when is late? As long as you got the heart to do whatever you dream, and you got the strength to achieve it, nothing is late or impossible. Or how about another works that's free but pay less? Not worth? Maybe. But depends what and how you think. So, from here, you can see what I mean by I'm not a good decision maker lo. I actually dunno what I want. Pif..

But somebody, I mean my close friends, sure will knock my head when I say I dunno what I want. Why? They say, I'm not dunno what I want, is I want something, I'll think too much before I making a decision, that make me struggling until the end of the selection. I think it back again and again. Maybe they are right. I did think and consider many things before I making 1 decision. I do think that I'm a coward as I scare if I make 1 decision and that decison cause any trouble, I won't feel happy. That's why I seldom make decison. That's why I say myself a coward.

Lack of confidient really is my biggest weakness.. HELP~~

Attacked..

2010-05-24T13:51:00.003+08:00

Maybe this is not a nice work after all. Really, I didn't mean to harm anybody, but maybe what I did does hurt anybody without noticed by myself. But if you feel that I didn't respect you, you can just tell me nicely, and I would be polite to you using the attitude that you want me to show.

What for stabbing me back in front of the boss(es)? Plus somemore to boss(es) that's no longer working in this comapny leh? Suan la.. Maybe he act as a senior (very old and experince that kind ), he wanna show us ( juniors ) what he is capable of, and as to proven his values out of some many competatives that have similar skills like he did, that's why he keep saying " I had work as a foreman for XX years, even in this company also I worked for 10++ years, you want to beat me? Train for few years 1st lah! "

Ok, I admit that he can do works, but if you can't manage to handle so many of it, why don't just say NO to the company? What for telling them is us didn't buy you the things you want and let the boss chop us? I also admit that he ( sometimes ) is a good teacher and also a good man to deal with, but when he do those kind of things, I will somehow think o, " is the person I admire and willing to learn from is some1 like this a? "

After all, he is the senior, or can be say, as a existance that cannot be denied, he had his values and power, but for some of us, he is the present of disaster.. Wish I could deal better with him, although I don't like him or how he talks nor works, but I appreciate the lessons and " lessons " he teached me and I'm glad that he somehow willing to teach me.

Thank you for the lesson ( " lessons " ) of life and work.

雨落

2010-05-18T17:29:00.003+08:00

走过了数天的酷旱，天公好像可怜地上的众生似的，怜悯的落下甘露。

啊～雨啊～

下雨了，闷热的风升华了；冷冽的风缓缓的与清澈的雨露跳着快乐的舞步。
众生隔着门窗欣赏着愉悦的华尔兹。
迎着透心的雨，开怀吧。随着拂面的风，欢腾吧。

雨，洗涤尘埃，
雨，沉淀心灵。

稀里哗啦，快乐的歌唱，
轰隆恭隆，忘我的哼唱。

雨时，淅淅滴滴，期待雨后的天晴；
雨后，依依唉唉，想念雨时的悲欢。

当面对绝望时，要展望眼前，或许希望就在人间。
或许流泪，会使你更加坚强。

Life have to go on

2010-05-18T08:29:00.001+08:00

No matter what happen, or will happen, how boring the life would be, we have to move forward. No matter how hard the path we walking on, we still have to move forward.

Ahh.. How boring is my life now. How hard I try to moving on this path of life.

But thanks to someone special, she did cheer me up, and gave me the strength to moving and moving on the path of life, not alone.

Thanks for encouragement. Thanks.

有心难行

2010-05-17T17:48:00.002+08:00

有些事情，想说但是就是说不出口。
有些事情，想做但是就是做不出来。

有很多东西，不想去做，但却被现实所逼而不得不做。
可也有很多东西，明知不该做，有人却往往心甘情愿的去做。

何苦，何唉？

在别人的眼中，有些事情可能不值得一提，但如果某人做的开心，问心无愧，那么过程如何辛苦，他也不会太在意了。但可惜，有些东西我没有办法能做的向他们那么豁达，看得那么透彻，所以我还不能认同他的所作所为。或许，我明白他的心情和想法，但我拒绝接受他做这一切的理由，且怀疑他的决心。至少，我对他的为人多少还有一点保留。

而这一丁点的保留，使我无法相信他。

何苦，何唉？

随着离别的日子将近，这一份怀疑，可以释怀吗？
唉～艰难的日子，正一步一步的逼近啊。

Moving Hard.. Maybe a stop?

2010-05-15T13:51:00.002+08:00

Time passed fast, day after days, yet the time almost there.. Time for both seniors left this company 1 by 1, 1st the malay senior (who I proud for her great work here), then the 2nd, the 1 who teached me alot of "his ways" of doing work and experiences. I appreciate all they had teach me, but i also hate (or dislike) whatever they put onto / into me, which make me not like me..

But what else I can say if the bosses also think getting both of them working at another company is nothing? "Just let it be whatever they wanted it to be." This what my heart said to me whenever I start to think bout the problems may occured after this.. Nothing I can do as this matter already confirmed without further discussions..

Before left, should you guys left me or inform me whatever project you still got in hands? Haih.. Actually, do I really care whatever they doing or not doing? Tell the truth, I dun care (maybe). I started with my own, getting helps from others, learning from others, really thanks for those ppl who help me withstand those obstacles in front of me by now, including those who I dun like, is they I should thanks, because, without them, I wont be me today.

Talking bout facing obstacles, I had faced some of it just within this few days. It let me learned that, nobody will be nice to you forever, and they never will do so to you. Whole world is talking bout own profits before applying others issues of other peoples, even a teacher that teached you many things. With a nice wrapping named "gift" or "challenge", they will slam some problems to you, force you to find a solution then when you starting to solve the problems, and meet the guys, they gave me a smile(s), and telling me, "as a purchaser, you have to be tough to fight with all those hard-to-deal situations or suppliers, dun try to "eat" your mistake, you suppose to deal with them with soft-hard or soft-soft methods to settle the probs." I appreciated, the "works" he had done, but I dun accept his ways of showing me this facts. I knew I should learn from this lesson, but I cant forgive the way he observe how I solved the problems, and dun tell me bout the history of you guys that you alone can handle the whole department as it started as a small unit and now already grown to a company holding ISO(almost).

But 1 things for sure, I had learned alot, more than anything that I ever seen in this life(for now). I wish I can thanks you guys of anyway I can, but I'm not done with the anger in my heart, sorry to say that.

I dun think that this will be my final job, and yet I'm not joking bout this. When everything's ready, I'll leave here once and for all.. Maybe a new job, maybe furthering my study of arts and design, or maybe become a tattoo artist was not a bad idea after all(the 1 who design tattoo).

Road is getting tough when I moving further, looking back to the scars on my soul, somehow I wish to have a stop and rest. Stop, mean end of something; and that something maybe will hold other things, will I dun bother what will happen when I stopped? I will.. But at least is my decision, not aimlessly following others' order(s).

At least, I proud to be in my ways.
Miss the wind-blowing days.. Miss the chit-chatting days.. Miss the warm-hearted peoples that 1st appeared in my journey of work..

Need a rest, making a stop.. Making a stop that seem difficult..

Holding my breathe

2010-04-24T14:03:00.002+08:00

When is the last time I login again? A question that I will always ask myself when I log into some online things, no matter games, blogs, hotmail and so on.. It seem that I can't remember well when I done something within my will..

So.. Forgive me if I type something similar for you guys to read. ^^

Anyway, near end of the month le, many things still hanging half way, what to do if my heart to rush those thing already gone? Haha.. Ignore me, my bad habits~ But nevermind, I know I still have a long way to go in this company so I'll deal with anything within my way.. But sometime, I really wish Malaysia office work can have a nice working surrounding like HK (which show in TV), I know it might be just a fake image to all, but try to imagine if your office work is like that, will you feel nicer although you hav to fight with whole bunch of works?

*Imagining*
*Sitting down on the seat, looking at the screen of pc, finished a deadlined project at the last moment.. Relaxing.. Take out the spec, closed the eyes for some rest after more than 10hrs staring at the pc. Suddenly a warm hand placed on your shoulder and a similar sound whispering beside of you, thank you for what you had done.. Then with a cup of refreshing, hot coffee placed in front of you, with a nice night view from office windows.. Ahhh... All the tiredness sure flied away.. *

Haha.. But all those just an imagination and side product due to the influences of the HK movies, it won't happen here, at least won't happen in my place..

But I still wishing some of those days will come, so for any problems I facing now, I can just Hold My Breathe and make my ways out of those obstacles.. For my future, just have to hang on..

Wondering

2010-03-25T18:04:00.002+08:00

After some times working in this factory, and I slowly move on to a higher position which most similar to other office works, nothing much I can say about it..

Although the treats, payment, attention is better than when I working in 99 Speedmart, but I cant stop wondering whether do I really can suit myself for this kind of office work..? But think another way and consider about the matter deeper, I cant suit myself for the works or I cant suit myself with all the people around in this working area..?

I dunno what might people think about me no matter in working or my attitude, but 1 thing for sure, I just doing whatever i can.. But why do other people somehow can do the works themselves, but after some times, throw back the ball to other and ask other to complete it? And there also somebody will start the works and know it well, then until half way, again throw to other and call the luckless one to submit it or explain it to the boss har??

For them, they call this way of working is training the new people wor. To let the new people get used to what they need to deal with, what they been working(busy I suppose) for the times and teach the new one how to do those similar works..

Oh gosh.. Is this the truth or I suppose to say, this is the ways of working in the new place as a new person? Whatever senior throw toward us, we have to absorb (without understand how the real things work?) , then proceed it out once again of whatever they said toward the boss (without fully understanding)?

Haih..

Ok.. Passed lvl 1, that mean you gonna step into phrase 2. Survival Games in a whole list of works.. I actually don't mind how many works I have to work with, but I just need some times to proceed all of the works. What for throwing all the works (and yelling at me that this this that that urgent) if you think that I cant finish those works for you leh? What's wrong if you just do your parts, and let me finished mine at 1st? (sigh) If I cant manage my time for the works, what's wrong for just reduce some of it for me even just a simple call to supplier? I appreciate those who help, really.. I know you guys just wanna train me to be "pro" like you guys asap, but guys, I'm not robot that complete with latest technology loh..

I talk so much have no other meaning.. Just wanna release my thinking to walk a longer road in this work.. But, when I talked to someone within the same company, again I been tackled.. Now even complaining also will become a sin, sorry lo, 1st time in office, then gonna handle all things that hang in half way, you think I'm robot o? "Like this already complaining ah? Last time when I work, I............................................................................................... You know a, your work now is so little only, now already headache, when you alone do all work how you survive?"

Sir, all you told I understand lor, but I just complaining only, and when did I stop my work leh har? (sigh) If both can do their works respectively, I will cant do work or do all works and hang in half way mah? Suan la.. Told also have no use, then better "eat" it back and keep the work going.. I dunno then what's wrong for you to told me a word or two? "Dunno then no need to do lah? Dunno then left it there and it will settle itself? Why you do like this? What are the thing you done for me? This call works meh?" Sir, if I know those works, then I already settle it early before you got chance to shout those "words" on me.. (actually, those words can also reflected back to the speakers)

Maybe I'm a robot after all.. A robot that can only act following instructions..
Or maybe, I won't stay long in this situation..
Or maybe, I'll leave here..
Or maybe, ......

Time, not enough?

2010-02-20T14:53:00.003+08:00

Time fled away from my hands again.. Yet I let it go, again.. So, is the time really wasted by me just like this? I dunno.. Do I suppose to know whether i wasted the time? Or it's the other way out -- Time wasted my life?

Who know?

People always struggle for time and keep complaining that the time is not enough, but is it the true fact or how the way it have to b spoken?

Think bout it.
Is not enough time?

or..
we moving too slow?

The speed of TIME is just like that.. Fast or Slow have no meaning for It.. Coz It won't need it..

Then why we still will think that time flow fast or slow?

Think again..

Did it move slow when we doing nothing? Or coz we do nothing so we FEEL that it moving slow?

Did it running fast when we had lots of things to do? Or just there is too many things to b done in a fixed time, so we FELT it's moving fast and not enough time for us to use?

Think again..

Living things feels thing with senses. But when facing the things you cant "feel", what will you feel or think bout it?

Think again, maybe, take the time of a cup of tea, sit down, calm your mind, and feel the flow around you. Maybe you will "feel" something that you never feel in this stressed life..

Time are always there. It will never be less or more, how to use it, you are the 1 who decide, enjoy it but dun regret..

Nothing

2010-02-19T08:56:00.003+08:00

When you already used to some sort of situation, whatever things that is similar happened, you won't feel surprised anymore.. So do works, whenever you get used to it(just a matter of time), you won't feel that works is hard or challenging as you already know how to settle it..

Pif.. Maybe I'm lazy(yes, i admit), but when the works getting easier, it has lost its value to stated as a work as you will like doing some regulated exercise.. XD

Aiya.. If this situation and thinking continued, how am I gonna do my works effectively~~ Need help~

(suddenly think of Counter Strike)

X : Need backup!

Y : Negative!

X : Stick together, team!

Y : Negative!

X : Fire in the hole!

Y : Negative!

X : ... ... (been head shot)

Y : Nice shoot, sir!

Workworkworkworkworkworkworkworkworkworkwork~~~

a drop of pollution~

Sleepy..

2010-02-01T14:02:00.003+08:00

Aiyo.. What happened?! Why am I so sleepy for today?!

Ah~~!!

Wake up a~~!!

(sigh) No use at all leh~

Too bad here no have coffee(s), It'll be better if it got sold over here..

I can felt that my eyes are so heavy and can't stop want to close in and got for " a chess competition with Mr.Zhou Gong".. x.x

Maybe is today too silent, or I not rested enough, sleepy~

=_="

Careless~ Careless~ Careless~

2010-01-27T17:04:00.002+08:00

Aiyo.. Really not in the mood of work today.. Dunno why, keep doing works that bring mistake due to my simply tiny carelessness.. ZZZ

Sien ah.. Why when I'm free, nobody throw any works or request me for anything?? But when I'm busy till can't have time to rest, all body will come over to request tools, or even office works also need me to do~(actually, their works not included in my working area) Then more dying one is, now I'm being "rated" to be included in Purchase Department.. Aiyo-weiya~ (I know this should be a good news, but I don't feel like happy at all lo)..

But for "included" in P.D, maybe it's not a bad idea after all.. Can learn many things through, then got help in "updating" myself to xxx hardwares and yyy machines and zzz tools.. Suan la.. Just face all the obstacle and challenge lo~ Ush!! Jia You~!!

At last, still not feeling better.. =.="

WHY A SMALL STOREKEEPER BOY HAVE TO DO SALES DEPARTMENT, PURCHASE DEPARTMENT AND STORES WORKS WITH A SALARY THAT LOW~~

I HATE U GUYS~~(AND LADIES)

Ok.. Now I'm satisfied... XD

Waiting Time To Pass

2010-01-20T14:03:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. How to say? Although the job and the company i working now had gave me a greater freedom, and treatments, but somehow I wondering that, why they wanna to have a storekeeper over here as, the works of storekeeper seem to be very easy for me.. Days after day, I got some feeling like I was wasting times in a small store in the company.. I did whatever I have to done, following their instruction, and who the hell can tell me what I should do next~!

Ya ya, this work is very easy to work with, workers also nice to me , but I seem doing nothing while other people rushing for projects and paper works.. Aiya.. Maybe it seem ok for somebody for having a job without many works, but I did feel like I'm eating the salary just like doing nothing for the company.. T.T

Anybody can slap me to wake me up from the freaking sleepiness and get me some work to do~~??

(p.s. I'm totally looooooooost~~ X.X" )

Wonder Why..

2010-01-15T16:41:00.002+08:00

Time passed how long since I never updated my blog already.. Maybe I'm getting lazy of being a "force-to-be" good boy, or maybe is my lazy genes are gone to invade my body.. (laugh)

Anyway, it's time to continue my life as a human and walk on the road of life which full of uncertainty , danger, disappointment, and lots of negative thoughts and moves.. (sigh) I'm suffering from something that I can't explain to anyone.. I'm getting tired n tired..

But I'm afraid that tiredness can't take me down yet so far, cause, I know that some still need me, ya, she need me, I think.. At least, whenever I need help, she dun't mind to help me up and request for no rewards no matter how many hard works she had did for me.. But I know, all you want is just a smile, a warm hug or a soft kiss from me.. I know it, and I dun't mind to give you whatever I can give..

People have no idea how many obstacles we had been passed through, but we both know.. Because we crossed it, no matter how painful it is, that make us more appreciate each other..

I know that on the road when we walked alone, I did hurt u thousands of times.. I'm sorry, yet I cant stop doing something that hurt you without my notice, so at last, i turned into silent.. Being criticized, blamed, hated but I dun't mind.. What I want is just both of us, you and me..

Maybe is my "illness" that seem to making my thinkings, actions, emotions more negative, but remember, and you know me, I'm always be with you whenever you want me to stay..

Forgive me..

And..

I love you..

TQ~

2009-09-28T01:39:00.002+08:00

Thx for celebrating my bday^^ I had some memorable moments during the bbq party^^

So long time no c, u guys still treat me as a part of u guys make me so happy (T.T), thx for didnt criticized my Low-Level job.. XD What i cant forget about that bbq is, my buddy, Y.rui, still treating me as his little brother just like form 4 n 5, it make me so touched.. TT.TT

LOL~ Or i should say, I'm still "small" compared to u guys? XD

N, I did saw chia yang from video call(MSN) n we had a great fooling-around times^^
Long time no c lo, Mr.Sheep, thx for remembering my bday o, long time no c, still remember pkmn card mah? We still hav some unfinished battles de o~ Hope someday it can b continued.. All the best at there n try not lost ur "virginity" o, if not u come back u cant b sell le~ LOL~
(jk jk dun hit me~ XD)

Really.. I'm glad i hav a gang of friends like u guys that dun looked down at me n b such a good friend with me.. Really.. Thx..

Chao Gei Gang~ We Rules~ ^^

Gotta Hang On~

2009-09-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

Many things had happened, n yet many things will happen sooner or later..
Time had passed n wasted, n yet, more time will be wasted..
Money had gone, n yet more will be gone..
Life will be passed as a part of life too..

What to do,
What can I do,
What can we do,
What can we do to stop all those nonsense..

Dunno what can I say about others,
Dunno what can I do to alert others,
Dunno why others become so weird,
Dunno why the time can change a people so extremely..

What to do,
What can I do,
What can we do,
What can I do to fight those nonsense..

Dunno what to say some more,
Dunno what to do some more,
Wondering what will happen,
Wondering what will happen afterward..

Looking forward to the Future,
For now,
Gotta Hang On..

靜

2009-08-27T00:39:00.002+08:00

夜雨驟下，寒風刺骨，無聲無息，相見夢中。

相聚無言，不是不歡，而心有你，生死無憾。

天盟地誓，悠悠人生，有你相伴，不枉今世。

讓我們安靜的在寂靜的夜裏靜靜地平靜地安眠吧。。

服务态度。。。

2009-08-16T21:54:00.007+08:00

Today i go dating with my panda, after few rounds of dota, then we decided to take our lunch as the time already 3pm. So we decided to fill our hunger at a shop we used to hang out.

When we stepped in the shop, we been welcomed, just like b4, but when have our seat, we like been ignored n even no 1 of those workers come n serve us, totally ignored us although they had passed few times. Until we "summon" them, only 1 of them came n ask what's our order. But hor,
they dun even gave us the menu how we order leh? So we asked them for menu..

When saw they came out with few combo sets, so we give it a try.Panda ordered a chicken chop set including a drinks, while I order another sets of chicken stick too.

After panda's drink arrived, only a waiter come n tell me the set tat i ordered is finish, n asked me for another choice, so I selected another. Then after a few mins of waiting, we finally got our foods, but my drinks(which should b included in the set)didn't show up. i was just thinking, mayb they nid time bah. So i wait n eat n of coz chat with panda. But as the time pass n passed, n we even almost finish our meals, my drink still not yet prepared to me. Gosh.. We alarm the waiter n let him know that my drinks not yet served, he say ok then go out le, i though this time i finally can get something to drinks as I'm thirsty. But what the hell~! About 5 mins more passed, my drink still "in process"!? We stare at our clock.. 1 mins.. 2 mins.. 3 mins.. We hit the alarm again, n another guys came in, with our anger underneath our voice, we remind them again, my drinks haven't served yet. He go out afterward, but back within a mins. He.. He.. He ask me my drink wan cold de or hot de!? Oh my f..king hell~~

At last, my drink~~
Pif.. But this drinks a.k.a Iced Jasmine Tea, was really like its name sounded.. ICE . JASMINE . TEA.. This kind of taste they also can make, i really really "admire" them..

80% of my drink is ice... X.X

Revived~

2009-06-15T01:01:00.002+08:00

Hoho.. Finally came back to update my blog.. I know u guys been bz bz bz bz~ neither do i~

Haha.. Many things had happened during this period of silent times. For examples, I got my own car(although juz a 2nd hand kancil,n kinda old n exp) but i appreciate it; the girl n boy in my shop tat caused so many troubles had already gone~ finally got peace in the shop, n we like a family back~;then is suddenlyanother trouble maker with powers(new supervisor tat is a Fxxker) dun ask me y coz i lazy to talk about a rubbish.. n some more~ (i wish to tell more,but forgive me.. i kinda slpy~)

Btw, i was juz keep bz with work till I almost ignored my dear panda, sorry~

Ok la, end here mayb, coz really dunno wan to write wat dy~ lol~

Long time didnt write a thing~

2009-04-06T02:13:00.002+08:00

Lol.. All of u guys bz~~? I dunno the answers, but i can tell i'm bz~~

烦啊~!!

Nothing to write actually.. XP

Oh ya, if u guys hav idea of savvy price, can let me know? Or some cheap cheap 2nd hand car(pls.. not those Dying car) can tell me anot? I'm planning to find a car.. but oh, i dunno i can affort anot leh.. LOL btw, if free help me c c lu~

Haha.. Money Money Money~ Work for more money~

Die lo.. I'm crazy dy when think bout all stuff to do with moneyzz... X.X"

Getting more lazy le..

2009-03-03T00:05:00.003+08:00

haha.. really juz like my title, i'm getting more n more lazy le.. nothing else, juz kinda lazy to do everything even my works, games, even my story..i wonder i dropped down the "pen" for how long dy.. Ahaha.. hope there's nothing wrong with me bah.. XD

So.. i was wonder wat u guys doing n busying at this moment.. Mayb, busying with loads of projects, appointments n such such bah..but i still struggling in this insanely stupid works tat even mixed up my epf number with some other ppls n make me lost of about 6month de epf money(more sux is even the HR Dept oso dunno wat's the problem until last month.. =.=) nvm.. a period of a week time, if they cant settle it,i gonna sue them~!!

Uhmm.. Ok.. Ends of the crazy job thingy, now is the workers in the shop.. Oh my gosh lor~ That couple still acting so childish lor~ Juz now(of coz while working lah, not now~), the girl suddenly claimed that the boy is having another girl in his heart n cried then drive back to home.. WTF!! Juz worked less than an hour,then ran back home.. Zzz.. Tell the truth lor, she also making the same mistake leh~ She hav another bf too, in JB..n now she said the boy not loyal to her?! Really is a B***h.. Then more geng de is, she came back to work after about 30mins, then chat n chat with the boy n act like she was so upset n say this n that..(that time i was eating nearby) i felt so like was to spit out.. =_=" Then i left the store so do others..left them 2.. After some time,i went back to the store to get some goods out, but i cant see them in the store.. then after a silent searching, i noticed them.. Guess what? They looked themselves in 1 of the small store room which we stored pampers, n dunno doing what inside of it.. If i not mistaken, more than 1 hour they being inside.. What can they do inside for so long..u try to tell me lah.. Then, when almost 5pm, they both came out, n they looked both ok dy(they stick to each other closely n smiles gained back on their face).. So what u they they doing inside!?

Haih.. This world ah..really what kind of ppls n what kind of things also will b done without any1's notice.. N to b reminded, they r a race that being locked by the heaviest holds of religion.. Haih..

Mayb is being with them for such a long time le, making me more n more lazy; or i was this lazy from the beginning? I cant stop to asking me myself some silly question nowadays n more n more often.. When i started to forget myself, will u guys wake me up from the nightmare?

P.S. Just Joking...

Corruption

2009-02-09T22:17:00.002+08:00

Ahahahahah... Finally can go on9 le~ My Internet connection was interrupted n turned corrupted after dl-ing somethings tat dunno wat n make the Internet connection turns to a failure.. T.T

Btw, not only tat lah.. lately was very interested in a newly discovered on9 game. Tat's Luna Online.. It's kinda interesting, but for some of u tat even call RO is childish game de gamers,then u better dont go for it.. It's a 3D n QQ on9 game.. sooooo much fun when i c the chars is sooooo cute~ (cant compare to my dear panda coz she is the cutest^^) but thr is a hard stuff.. It's sooo hard to up lvl.. TT.TT but nvm, will try to bet tat thingy~

haha.. to celebrate i finally back, i giv u all a cup of free chocolate milk~ unlimited supply wif unlimited taste~

路

2008-12-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

每个人，每一个选择，都有可能对他往后的道路有多多少少的影响。但身边的每个人，每个地方，都有可能让他有多几次的选择。如果第一个选择不是你要的，你还是有一次或几次的重新选择的机会，但是，呆在原地还是迈开脚步踏进另一条道路还是得好好想一想哦。

我的道路，又一次面对分岔路了。。。

我的选择，我会离开。。但不知道会使我更好过还是跌进谷底，但为了我们的未来，我会离开，不再回去了。。我要好好的发奋了。。不能再让你为我的工事而心烦、流泪了。。

路，我选了；路，我踏上了；路，我再一次迈开旅程了。。

不一样的地方，不一样的人，不一样的事情；但是，一样的心情，一样的热衷，一样的目的。。

有你相伴的路上，我不会孤孤单单的。。

Falling in love on Gamez

2008-12-02T10:36:00.002+08:00

Recently, every time finished work n home le, after finished eating my dinner(for u all is already supper) n take a refreshing shower, then i straight moved into the pc room, do wat? Play gamez~ Most of the time I'll play Insane-RO lo, coz got friends mah, n lately only i realised i really really really like ROz.. XP last night, rush n rush, finally trained my Sniper to lvl99, n without doppelganger card i make his aspd to 190, yeng leh~ XP (Hohoho~)

But still~Many chars didnt 99 yet ah~n somemore got not yet reborned de~ must max it asap~(but kinda impossible as my server can reborn up to 9 times.. =_=")
Btw, leave a msg here for some of u who played Insane-RO, when u all free to on, let's go BioLab lvl 3, I can't wait to insanely killing those mobs~ XD

======================================================================

About the story of my, Chap 3 de draft is already done, nw in process of typing into microsoft word, but my old n broken pc keep making troubles for me, so progression will abit slow...

Then bout the wing quest script for Insane-RO, need to spent more time on it as nw only finished 2 wings de idea(still got 10 wings waiting in my mind..zzz when only i can finish~~ T.T)

Wish me luck bah... Wish i got more times~ lol~ no care lu, juz finished watever i can^^

回归正途

2008-12-02T10:14:00.003+08:00

跟宝贝私下沟通了几次后，心情开始好转了，人也渐渐释怀了，不再那么的消极了，但是，就是没什么信心可以支持很久，但是人已经不会望不好的那方面去想了。

思想沉淀下来以后才发觉自己的脑子可能有点问题。总发觉自己有点自闭，有点幼稚，有点茫然，有点成熟，有点无聊，有点任性，有点情绪失控。。结论——我也不清楚。。 XD

但是，我又正常了。又开始慢慢地开朗起来了，也不怎么转牛角尖了，宝贝真的可以放心了，我没事了。 ^^

我迷失了我......

2008-11-28T00:14:00.006+08:00

思想开始有点混乱了，
我不知道我这么久了都在干些什么，
我不禁在想，
我在这一片陌生的天地中，
我遗失了自己吗？

情绪无法得到发泄，
一直埋在自己的心里，
越积越多了，
有点崩溃的感觉，
无法释怀的我不敢和任何人述说着内心的各个秘密......

感情的浓烈冷淡，
使我开始不知如何是好了，
我的心因和你的分离而淌着血，
也因和你的相遇而心花放，
分分离离的感觉，
到现在还是很痛......

我开始忘了我自己，
近来才发现，
我原来一直都伪装成另一个我，
真正的我呢？
可能一早就不在了吧......

近期的我，
神经有点错乱了，
无法控制我自己的情绪，

无法看清之前说好的目标了，

为了多一点相聚的时间，
我换了目标。

曾经在一起的那段时光，
那段欢乐，悲痛，温馨的时光，
你们还记得吗？
那曾经一起共度患难的时光，
我会一直记在心里的，
它会成为让我在亿万个伤心、痛苦的日子中，
开心地、坚强的走下去的勇气。
我不会忘了你们的，
永远不会。

努力奋斗吧，
我的朋友们，
不论你们是否还记得我这么一个“小”朋友，
我会一直在这里祝福你们的，
让风、雨、彩虹见证你们的努力吧！
加油！！

最后，给我的宝贝，
我想告诉你......

我不后悔了，
因为我相信了，
我不寂寞了，
因为我有了你，
我不痛苦了，
因为......我爱你。

The Chocolate Milkz Bar~

2008-11-26T14:48:00.003+08:00

The Chocolate Milkz Bar Is Opened~

Pls come in n hav some chat^^
Enjoy a cup of hot or cold Chocolate Milkz accompany by the sweet lullabies~
Feel free to come over n stop by for some chatz^^

U can find the link to Chocolate Milkz Bar within my blog^^

Wish u all hav a best wish from me n panda^^

Dreamer In Shadow

2008-11-18T01:10:00.004+08:00

Ohaiyo~ So long time didnt update my blog dy, DONT assume i die jor oh.. Haha.. I was bz for so many thing.. This month i go for my license test, ush..so expansive for me lah.. Haih..But wat can i do with my low paid job, but no matter how, still can affort it.. All is juz for a better work n for my dear.. At least.. After got license i can go find her le..although petrol still expansive, but wont mind lah.. Juz hope to see her.. wan to b with her.. Now count, almost got 1 month didnt saw her le.. Miss her.. But i still hav to hold on.. I cant juz work for myself le..must work harder..

Although responsibilities is heavier n heavier, i still need to go on.. I wrong n miss the right path for my life.. Now i only can work harder n harder.. Jia you bah.. For all of u too..

Kinda stress this month, i dunno y.. I left many works undone as i already wan to finish it a.s.a.p but i.. Haihz.. Sometimes i juz wish i can hav more free times..
Nvm lah.. Still hav to work hard n finish it lah.. N really sometimes, i hope i can hide myself in the corner of shadow, listening to the music n hide away from any1.. Or.. sit in front of the door listening to the ringing of the wind-chime, reading my fav story books, n hopefully u were thr, bside me..

I dunno lah.. Kinda emo this month.. Emotion suddenly will disturbed by anything.. Like b4 taking the "L" license test--test undang2, i was no mood at all for few days, y? Coz the example test CD gav by the driving academy was a bit confusing n not so easy for me.. But after the test, i was so happy~ It's more easy than the CD it gav.. LOL (i passed~)

But happy things like always dont like to stop bside me.. After helping y.rui n playing with dear in InsaneRO, i felt something wrong.. My body temperature raising.. like wan to fever dy lor.. Hope wont really fall sick lah.. But still happy.. coz finally got 1 time play the same online game with my friends le.. so happy..hope..more friends come n play with me..no matter wat game.. XP

Time passed after time, time n time passed by times, y times flied so fast.. Think back.. I worked almost 1 year le.. It's 1 year dy after 26th Dec this year.. really passed so fast till i didnt notice it.. Haha..

After so long le(27th Sept) since we last meet up, dont know when can we meet again leh.. I miss all u guys.. All ok mah? I know it's bz for collage or university life, but all of u must stay strong n work hard oh.. After get some result in wat u all studied, dont forget me oh.. Must come out n meet oh.. Must..rmb me ah..

Sry ah.. Kinda miss those moments during studying in CHS.. Still rmb those time we fooling around in the school..

无法简单的繁忙

2008-11-01T00:59:00.002+08:00

Days passed after days..Cant b free while i'm free n cant b bz while i'm bz.. too many thing hav to b done b4 deadlines.. But when i was bz-ing totally, health left me away n sickness trapped me.. Fall sick dy..

1st day.. Sucky flu..then followed by fever..make my day so damn hard to passed away.. body keep felt warm n cold n cold n warm.. So uncomfortable.. -_-"

2nd day, still..flu.. ZZZ.. but with the help of medicines, i knocked away the fever.. XD still..uncomfortable coz flu make me cant breathe normally.. -_-""

3rd day, Still FLU~!! but added another lately.. sore throat.. X.X wat de xxxx.. So hate to sickness.. err..

But although fall sicked, but my days n works n activities still had to carry on.. Haih.. So tired n sleepy n cant focus on wat i doing watever i'm doing, still completed the daily stuff.. ha..ha.. -_-"

Business, Busy-ness, y business must built on busy-ness leh..is thr really no other way easier? No matter wat will b ur answer, no matter how long it will take, no matter how many effort u did, road is still long n hardy, must beat urself b4 u can defeat any1 or anything in front of u later, so..

LET'S WORK HARD TO ACHIEVE OUR GOAL~!!

努力，奋斗，加油，朋友们~！！

Dying..

2008-10-24T01:20:00.003+08:00

Though will b very free after puasa n aidilfitri, but i didnt expect will busy till i wan faint liao.. Deng.. even some more times to play with dear oso gone dy..coz wat? Coz when i finish my works at night, dear almost time to go sleep le,if she not yet time to sleep,she will fighting with her homeworks.. zzz.. very bu shuang lor.. But nvm lah, i still got something else tat can do alone while she busying or sleeping..
I now working hard to complete my own fantasy novel(a short 1,u can say is only a story).. If u wan to know wat is it about,i juz can tell u i juz continue the story of the novel tat i love--转生.. I continued it n write it into my own story..a fantasy dream of me n my dear which might include few of u guys^^ juz wait n c who is within the story bah.. Haha..

Oh well..if u wan to read it, i sorry to tell ya, it's juz now till chapter 2, juz getting started n focusing to starting it lately.. XP still hope u guys can support me.. I'll try my best to complete it de~ Must jia you!! If wan read,can left me a msg, when i on n saw u on,i'll send u the file, rmb to giv comments oh~ XP

Although i really got little time to write it on paper as draft, n retype itin microsoft words,n it take time n times while times is something i really hav no much,but at least n finally i manage to finish it within a week..HUHU.. hope i got more n more times to do wat i wan..

Haih.. So lonely lately.. every time wan find dear to chat, not she busying then i was busying..already hav a long time didnt chat nicely le.. N..coz less time to play n those homeworks lessen her times,sometime really feel so quiet around.. juz like the world is so silent n i'm the only 1 left behind.. haih... Boring.. But nvm lah.. this situation..i think will better soon de bah..hope so..

Oh ya..next month i going for my license test le..juz 1st lesson.. No matter how, wish me all the best bah.. Haha.. Must get my license~!! Ush~!!

Ok lor.. I think tat's all i wanna say.. All the best on everything to u guys!

Worried..

2008-10-09T21:54:00.002+08:00

Panda SICK le.. TT.TT So worried bout her.. 1 week le lah.. Still not yet cure.. T.T
Hear she sick le but still hav to rush for homeworks..so worried~!! But luckily panda take care herself nicely n eat medicines n rest as much as possible, n hear her getting better le i only not so worried.. STILL WORRYING!!

Y~!! Y i cant b with her when she need someone to take care her.. TT.TT No care le.. Next time.. MUST take care her next time~!! Must make her well soon..no matter how..
Haih.. suddenly feel myself so useless tim..cant do anything when panda is sick.. n only can know her condition through msgs.. -_-

Nvm lah~!! We still got a life of times to b together.. Next time, I'll take care of u de~!! Must get well soon oh~!! Panda is not tat weak de~!! HANG ON~ n get well soon oh.. Sat I buy chocolate milk n we drink together if panda getting well^^

Hibernation.. =.="

2008-10-07T22:56:00.002+08:00

A bit busy le.. Sorry guys.. Will hav some times wont update my blog.. But welcome to leave a msg in the chatbox or my msn(ChaosL27@hotmail.com), will reply u asap.. If u r lucky, i might thr to hav a short chat with u.. XP

As the title..i really cant find any more suitable title, coz no other words appear in my mind but juz this word..LOL

Ok.. Another news to tell u guys, finally got the confirmation letter of shop assistance in my job.. Although salary still a bit low(for u guys lah, it's ok for me.. RM770 basic if u willing to know.. OT not included in basic salary) Ya ya,it's a bit low, but at least, i owned it with my sweats n bloods.. haha..

Ok lah.. i think tat's all le.. Oh, sorry a bit bout the tag(s), coz i no other friends added so i resend those tag(s), sorry ah.. XP

Oh oh.. wish Chia-Yang an early birthday 1st.. XD

Ciaoz~ Continue my hibernation lu~ XP

Again n Again tagged..

2008-10-03T23:09:00.004+08:00

Instructions, Remove 1 question from below and add in a personal question, make it a total of 19 questions. Then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
1. What Are Your Nickname?
Bear Bear, Shortie, Chaos..etc

2. What Is Your Most Favorite Thing To Do?
Drawing, sleeping, listen to music..

3. What Kind Of News Do You Read?
Anything interested in..

4. What Is Your Favorite Color?
Black, white, gray

5. Is There Someone In Your Heart Right Now?
ABSOLUTELY^^

6. Do You Believe You Can Survive Without Money?
If u giv me anything i asked..

7. What Are You Afraid To Lose The Most?
Panda...

8. What Do You Feel Like Doing Right Now?
Giv Panda my 1st night(dont hit me oh,panda.. XD)

9. If There's Someone That You Love, Would You Confess To Him/Her?
Yup, but hints 1st.. XP

10. List Out 3 Good Points Of The Person Who Tagged You.
sot~, cute n happy^^

11. What Are The Requirements That You Wish From Your Other Half?
Believe in both of us..

12. Between family and friends, which is more important to you?
2 oso the same for me..

13. If You Had To Eat One Thing For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?
Meat! Preferably chicken... XP

14. If You Had A Choice To Be Rich Or Happy, Which One Would You Pick?
Happy when rich, but happy is the treasure i had now^^

15. If You Have A Chance, Which Part Of Your Character You Would Like To Change?
Emotional

16. How Do You See Yourself In 10 Years Time?
Me is still me.. XP

17. What Is The One Thing You Love About Yourself?
My Sot-ness^^

18. If You Can Bring Only One Thing Along With You To Another World, What Would It Be?
A gameboy or PS with all sort of games(must hav pokemon~!!)

19. What Kind of Movie(type) You Like To Watch?
Anime~~ ,then something adult( XP)..

I tagged..
Eva, ChiPing, SuePing, Evie, KamHin, ChoonYen, ChayJiang, ChiaYang

Again tagged..

2008-10-03T22:52:00.003+08:00

The last person to tag you is?
My dear Panda

What relationship of you with him/her?
Lover.. XP

Your 5 impression towards him/her.
a) Panda
b) Bear Bear
c) Sleep?
d) Cute^^
e) I love her

The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you.
B my gf^^

The most memorable thing that he/she has say to you.
I love u

If he/she becomes your lover, you will…
Already in love.. i'll love her forever..

If he/she becomes your enemy, you will
Let she do whatever she wan..

If he/she becomes your lover , he/she has to improve on..
Nothing..as a ppl,only not perfect make a person perfect^^

If he/she becomes your enemy , the reason is...
I make she hate me?

The most desirable things to you to do to him/her
Spent my whole life with her..

The overall impression to he/her is
MY LOVE~!!

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Crazy? Happy? Short?

The character for you for yourself is?
Unpredictable

On the contrary , the thing you hate about yourself is?
I am too unstable(emotionally..).

The most ideal person you want to be is?
Me, myself..

For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
I appreciate what u all had done, tq^^

Ten people to tag-
1 Panda
2 Chi Ping
3 Sue Ping
4 Evie
5 Kam Hin
6 Choon Yen
7 Chia Yang
8 Qi Xiong
9 Zuo Hao
10 Ching Yee

Who is no.2 having relationship with?
No idea.

Is no.3 a female or a male?
female

If no.7 and no.10 be together would it be a good thing?
Disaster of English n Chinese..

How about no.5 and 8?
They are my buddy^^

What is number 1 studying for?
Multimedia design at The One Academy

When was the last time you have chat with them?
Not all met together last time

Is number 4 a single?
Nope

Talk something about no.2.
Holder of Dearth Note with an evil laugh

Birthday

2008-09-27T21:44:00.006+08:00

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to Alfie, happy birthday to Pei Shian, happy birthday to Chi Ping n happy birthday to Hun Yen.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WE ALL~ LOL

Ok.. TQ all for sharing a bz day for me n few friends tat almost same time birthday to celebrate our birthday today at SUNWAY PYRAMID.. XD Really tq all.. Today is a important day yet the most happy day in my life(my life till now only 18, don't think it so far, ok? XD) N yet, thx for the present, i loving it~ ^^

Today, i really happy.. It's a long long long time ago(not long lah, juz few months right?) when we a gang come out n went so crazy(how crazy depends who u saying this to), i really long time no went out with u guys, u all changed a lot dy, especially WONG CHING YEE~ oiyo, slim liao wor,pretty liao wor,happy lu~ XD u all seen so leng zai n leng lui liao wor, n all so "updated" liao wor.. XD i look so tiny when stand with u all eh~ NVM.. i still got my panda hugging me n walk with me in my life.. I still hav something tat can win u all, i got working experiences more than u guys, wuahaha~!!

Shuang ah.. Although not so much interactive activities n even some left the gang n go "da gei" but still, i enjoyed today very much.. Ah.. now already wish to hav those moments again soon.. So syok when playing shooting games n car racing games with u all..especially ching yee..3rd time in n 1st time play, i can seen she enjoyed.. XD haha.. so happy.. so syok..

I felt sorry for the shop tat we having our "Insane Party"-- Nando's Chicken Rice Shop.. Our gang bring their shop a mess after all finished n make their shop like a pasar malam~ LOL We not juz making it noisy but also make their shop "旺" dy, after our entry, their shop suddenly full of ppls.. lolx Once again, thx for lending us ur shop for our party n sorry to make ur shop into a mess.. XD

Last..miss my panda.. Thx for panda de "ban mian"(which is a nacklace with a "ban mian" sealed within a small bottle).. n..i'll never forget panda 1st kiss on bear bear cheek.. i still can hear ur heartbeat now.. thx.. n love u^^

Hope we hav chance to go out again next time, if all "da gei" gang, i wan join u all play DOTA le, teach me oh~ dont bully me oh.. haha..

Scar

2008-09-23T23:38:00.002+08:00

Today, when i stepped into the store, i sensed something wrong around the atmosphere.. I was juz treating it as a situation that normally occur when the "couple" in a fight.. So i ignored it n start doing whatever works i hav to completed which not done by them yet.. All was juz going fine.. But when i step into the store again, something really not right.. They was arguing..I keep my ears to listen what they talking about while doing what i suppose to do.. Oh my, juz a small business, they oso can argued like that.. Guess what,the boy was complaining y the girl deleted their photo(which is they together closely).. The girl giv a considerable reason--someone in her house doesn't like them to b together(as they counted as start without family acknowledge), so she do that juz to ensure her family wont "buzz" on either she or he.. But it seem the boy was took over by anger n some stupid words or sentences flowed out.. The girl like hurt n cried non stop..

Juz i was going to retreat from the battleground, the girl run passed me n go to buy a knife.. What u think she trying to do? @_@ The boy tried to stop her n scolded her, but she ignored him n run back to the toilet in the store.. the boy followed for sure..(after that i don't know coz i go out n informing leader n assist.leader)

Leader go in n forced them out.. The girl come out with tears.. While the boy like still covered by anger..

Without notice, the girl escaped from the shop.. At the same time, the boy sit down.. As i though all is fine(i don't know the girl run away dy), the boy suddenly throw his hp toward the ground, n it crushed n turned into some broken pieces juz like their relation or heart..

After searched the girl n after leader talked to them "personally", all turned back to normal.. Although it look like so, but it won't feel so.. As this war started, it won't juz happen once..as it's destined to b so.. A scar will left within their heart.. But looking at they argued n ok(mayb) back, juz like looking to a drama, feel better..at least won't influenced our works.. XD

Argue, will happen anywhere n any time.. In a relationship, it's so hurt when u experienced it, but that the key that enchanted ur relation with a stronger bond.. It is something that u can't mess with n something that u can't miss.. Overcoming it, make u stronger n make u know each other more well..as i experienced it.. i know how it feel.. It will left u a scar, but that scar will remind u something u can't affort to forgot or done..

NO IDEA

2008-09-22T20:31:00.003+08:00

Dunno y, barely found topic to write or can write on blog this few day.. Mayb running out of idea le bah~ @_@

But next week will hav few topic to post bah.. XD

1st, starting next week(after 27th i mean) will busy till i wan faint.. They(my colleague) all take turns going back to kampung.. ZZZ.. They really is insane de.. Some of them even applied for almost 1 week de leave.. WTF~!! Die lor.. Lucky tat lorry trips n goods carried will reduced during tat moments..if not, die me alone working..TT.TT

2nd, yesh~~ finally almost 27th September le.. Guess what? My birthaday~ YEAH~ Haha.. I wondering what is the present tat panda will give me.. Hehe.. Looking forward to it~ XP I will also looking forward to the gathering on tat day, dunno how is all my friends n classmate le neh? Hope u all fine n wish u all the best^^

3rd, I'm getting more sot le.. Last time i go out with panda,we dare dare go buy SKOL BEER to drink.. LOL Wat to do, who call i tell panda tat i drink beer, n she more geng.. She say wan train me to drink beer or wine~ LOL~ We really crazy le.. But i really enjoy those moments.. Feel so close with panda tat day.. *. .*(Dont think too far~nothing happen lah~although i wish somethingto happen.. XD)

4th, i still cant think another topic.. so wait n c bah~ LOL (dont hit me oh, i got panda here~ LOL)

AWAY~!!

2008-09-20T11:22:00.003+08:00

Too many thing to do but not enough time to do so..

Will not update blog until further notice.. TQ

Pls stick to my blog as i oso dunno when i'll post again.. XD

All the best in exams n life.. XD

1st Contact With Alcohol

2008-09-15T23:59:00.002+08:00

Those day kinda sot for me.. Will suddenly did something out of my control.. Like few days ago, i suddenly scolded my colleague just because of some small matter.. Although it's fine after that,but she n he like scare me already.. Maybe i used to being a nice person in front of them n they dont think i also got a scary side bah.. Haha, it's a good thing,at least now they not so dare to call me do something tat they can do themselves actually.. LOL

Then.. Just now, i suddenly bought a bottle of vodka tat contain 5 % alcohol.. I also dunno y i'll buy de lor.. Then i drink it.. At start, it was nothing much just the smell of the alcohol kinda not acceptable, but then after finished.. Head starting to get hotter n hotter.. WOH~ Luckily my head didn't turn red, but just feeling hot, if not sure will scolded by my parents n family de.. Haha.. Anyway it's a good experience.. XD

Guess what,when i tell panda i drunk vodka.. At 1st, she ask me y drink.. But then suddenly she say next time buy sake(tat's about 15~20% alcohol) to drink.. XD haha.. She really plan to train me to drink wines..XD She even said tat next time will buy Carlsberg forme.. LOL But anyway, it's a good thing..At least next time i won't cant drink wines when some party is going on.. Haha.. Enjoyed the feeling after drunk..XD haha..

C~ I told u i was something wrong this few days de lor.. Now u believe le bah.. LOL

XD Next time when i sot again, please knock me back to normal again.. XD

Wedding..My Dream

2008-09-15T23:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to Bidor for my sister's husband de sister de wedding.. Haha.. Dunno lor, just when saw the bridegroom n bride hugging each other on the stage, suddenly feel so touched.. Haha.. When saw the bridegroom sing some love songs to the bride while holding her hands, heartbeat suddenly increased.. Haha.. mayb i think too much already le bah.. But wish my day with panda will come n come true too someday.. XD

So touched when saw them holding each other n hugging(cant forgot the kisses.. XD) on the stage.. (think too much n think aside liao.. XD) Dunno we hav tat day or not leh.. XD

Another part that touched my heart is when the bridegroom sing the song "朋友" on the stage.. Haha.. Wish when tat day come, all friends will sing tat song together also.. Dont try to escape when tat day come oh~ XD (think to far already.. LOL)

tagged!?

2008-09-14T00:15:00.005+08:00

tagged by..Panda~

Would you rather..?

1. Would you rather be poor but happy, or rich but sad?
Can i choose happy n rich? haha.. anyway i prefer poor but happy bah coz sometime rich wont bring happiness.

2. If you’re stranded on an island with your best friend and there’s nothing to eat, would you rather eat your best friend or let him/her eat you?
Never will let me eat he/she or let he/she eat me de lor.. sure can find some food de.. from sea?

3. If you had the choice, would you rather be good-looking but stupid, or smart but ugly like hell?
If I had the choice, I wan good-looking and smart can ma? haha.. anyway.. will choose good looking but stupid bah.. coz intelligent can gain, but look will follow
whole life(at least u go for plastic surgery)

4. If both your best friend and your boyfriend/girlfriend are drowning at the same time, and you can only save one person (and you cannot throw yourself in to drown with them), who will you save?
I might cant save any.. coz i dunno how to swim.. XD

5. Would you rather eat 5cm3 of shit or drink 1 litre of urine?
Drink btr bah.. tat 1 can juz drink without bothered by smell compared to shit.. XP

6. If both your best friend and your mother are drowning at the same time, and you can only save one person (and you cannot throw yourself in to drown with them), who will you save?
Although i cant swim, but i'll try to save my mum..

7. Would you rather be gang-raped or be raped once but have cucumbers/pencils/scissors stuffed up your vagina/butthole?
Come n try who rape who lah.. wuahaha!!

8. If you are forced to shoot either of your parents, would you rather shoot your mother or your father? (and you cannot shoot yourself)
I'll use it to shoot the person who force me..

9. Would you rather get raped or have your boyfriend/girlfriend cheat on you with your best friend?
Who dare? I'll kill them.. (murderer's soul crashed in.XD)

10. Would you rather have a boyfriend/girlfriend with the biggest heart but no brains, or a boyfriend/girlfriend with the biggest brains but no heart?
Biggest heart but no brains, dont ask me y ok?

11. Would you rather marry someone 5 years younger or someone 20 years older than you?
i will juz marry my panda^^

12. Would you rather live a short life but die very peacefully, or live a long life but die a very horrible and painful death?
Live a short life but die very peacefully, die horribly? who wan oh~?

I dunno wan to tag who.. Juz wait n c.. LOL

Rush rush rush~

2008-09-10T22:34:00.002+08:00

Long time no update me blog le.. How's u guys? Everything seem just normal bah.. Haha.. Anyway.. This few weeks will b some hard n busy n something wrong(my emotion actually) days for me.. Kinda angry with those 2 "pigs"(1 male 1 female) that work in the same shop with me.. ZZZ.. Don't say them le.. It's useless de.. Just knock it aside bah.. Ok.. Finish of dropping some craps in my post.. XD Haha..

Ok.. Tell ya what I was busying this few days bah.. Now busy editing the script of Insane RO.. Ush~ Haha.. Just edit the script n create some wings(eqs) for the game.. Wish me luck bah!! Haha.. If got time please join me in the game oh~!(Don't hit me cause promoting server here.. I'm forced to do so de~ T.T) XD

The day like crazy now a day, few days of rain, n now few days of "blaze".. Haih.. It's so unstable as my emotion.. Haha.. Maybe weather really will influence someone de emotion n way of thinking bah.. Nvm.. It's nothing biggie.. Haha..

Oh.. It's september le~ Wish all friends or my friends' friends happy birthday no matter when is his/her birthday lor.. Haha.. XD

Raining Soul

2008-09-05T22:36:00.003+08:00

天，
明明开朗，
隐隐伤悲，
渐渐失望，
渐渐消沉。

雨，
慢慢下起，
缓缓激烈，
急急缓缓，
断断续续。

人，
纷纷嚷嚷，
慌慌忙忙，
时时聚散，
时时奔停。

心，
零零散散，
清清欣欣，
想想你我，
温温暖暖。

雨•心想

- 残星 -

Missing Soul

2008-09-04T02:15:00.001+08:00

Huhu.. Time passed so slow those few days.. Haha.. Those few days kinda desperate eh.. Dunno y so easily mood go down lor..even make panda worrying dy.. Haha.. But luckily that panda was beside me n help me to get away from this moodless feeling.. Miss u a lot ah..

一切一切开始冷了，就像近几天的天气一样.. 冷冷的，静静的，闷闷的，孤独一个人的.. 虽然说才和panda见面没多久，但已经无法不想念她了.. 还有多久才可以再见面呢.. 好了啦..

夜深了，快天亮了吧.. 夜，静静；雨，淅淅；心，清清；她，远远；我，想她；她，睡了; 她，梦着我吗..

午夜细雨势已静，
梦里寻爱觅千里，
千里思念一线牵，
只盼来日即相见。

雨•见

- 残星 -

Mad-Sad-Happy-Worried-Sweet

2008-08-25T23:50:00.005+08:00

Huhu.. It's been a hard day for me n my panda.. Something happened within my working place n make us can't meet as we planned earlier.. Haih.. Too bad lah..

Err.. What had happened is all because of those stupid Malay workers.. So damn 不爽！！
Don't ask me what had had happened as i no wan to rethink about it!

But thx for panda's considering, she sacrificed her precious working day(her work 1 day is RM40 ah!)to b with me.. So touched.. T.T

Now only i noticed..my personalities passed to her le.. Oh my.. Last time when she not so happy or mad, she will find something to hit or ask someone to hear she talking, but today she just suddenly no mood at night(normally i'm the one who will mood-less when i not happy).. Although she still got mad at start, but dunno y she just suddenly become mood-less.. Worried.. Luckily she ok by now le.. I think now she must b sleeping well.. Wish her sweet dreams^^

Sleep well my cute little panda^^ Love u n miss u^^

Finally!!

2008-08-23T23:33:00.003+08:00

Yes! Today finally got my "contract" with 99speedmart le.. That's mean i'm now confirmed.. Ush.. 3 more months.. 3 more months then i will be working in this company for 1 year le.. After 1 year of getting working experience in this company n with license done(i mean get it),then i'll stand a chance to be promoted as assistance leader or leader of a shop of 99speedmart le!! Wosh!!

Haha.. Just thinking of it already make me high >.< must jia you to achieve it!! No matter what other people will think of me i don't care,they wan say i low educated or whatever also nevermind,at least i found my 1st job n i got some result in it.. ^^

Hope i wont gone too far..if not i can't meet with my panda le.. Although now a month also dunno got meet about 3 times or not,but at least we enjoy all our times to b together^^

Panda,jia you also oh! I know u working while studying,it's kinda hard n tiring, but i believe panda can do it de! Jia you!
*P.S: work is work, study is study,so enjoy ur games when ya playing,n remember to take a rest if too tired,don't rush till fall sick oh.. bear bear will worry de..

Memories of Hug

2008-08-21T18:28:00.005+08:00

it's a great day i have today.. although nothing much to do actually in house(always lying myself on the bed only or facing the computer but dunno what to play or do with it) but today chat with my panda n i spent some precious time with her^^

we chat n chat n chat till refreshed our memories in the shopping mall, u would ask y i so happy bout that shopping trip? haha.. nothing much.. but it's the 1st time she hug me from behind^^ haha.. that time really shocked by her sudden action of that.. kinda nervous that time.. *. .* but i enjoy that moment(although only a few seconds for the elevator to moving between floor n floor) i really like the feeling of 2 bodies closely together..

haha.. nothing much to say actually.. just know that my panda will online n see later.. so just wan to tell u(my panda) I LOVE YOU

I PROMISED U FOREVER N THAT FOREVER WILL WE WALK TOGETHER WITH OUR HANDS HOLDING TOGETHER..

一年

2008-08-18T22:45:00.001+08:00

一年就这样的从我的岁月中溜走了..

一年的时间说长不长，说短不短，但是却发生了很多事情.. 有开心的，有伤心的，有令人生气的，有令人害羞的，有令人紧张，担忧的.. 但这一切的发生使我的心更加的坚强，也更加的坚信我们只有相互支持，相信对方，什么难关都不成问题..

我们曾经分离了一段长达三个月的时间，那段时间是我一生中就难过的时光.. 我从来不曾感到那么孤单过.. 相隔两地的痛苦，虽然到现在还没消除但至少我们可以至少两个星期见一次面.. 至少想念你的心情得到了一些些的疏解..

随着我们的心智开始步入成年人的阶段，想念你的情绪开始沸腾，也慢慢演变成一种我所不能完全掌控的冲动.. 开始无法控制自己了..

我爱你，爱你一生一世.. 你只属于我，让我也属于你吧..

Bear Bear Love Panda Forever^^

My Love ForEva

•¤星辰轩•夜雨阁¤•

给幸福道别

如夏。暑

如霜。梅

如雾。迷

清风夜雨。情难

萤星。叹

如风。轻

Mood - emo

Lack of Motivation~

心情驿站

Day - 22/03/11

Losing my own steps

茫然

不动-无惭

《孤影》

《路。途》

《路。途》

漠视

凡心。繁心

思想之二。污染

思想之一 。 观点

Life Like Usual

Face the Real

Sick

Re-Start (After Resting 1 Week)

Resting day 1

Countdown : 1 day

Countdown : 2 days

Countdown : 3 days

The Final

Waiting

担心？

闲言闲语

Sometimes

Start the New

时间

静

Down.Down.Down

Attacked..

雨落

Life have to go on

有心难行

Moving Hard.. Maybe a stop?

Holding my breathe

Wondering

Time, not enough?

Nothing

Sleepy..

Careless~ Careless~ Careless~

Waiting Time To Pass

Wonder Why..

TQ~

Gotta Hang On~

靜

服务态度。。。

Revived~

Long time didnt write a thing~

Getting more lazy le..

Corruption

路

Falling in love on Gamez

回归正途

我迷失了我......

The Chocolate Milkz Bar~

Dreamer In Shadow

无法简单的繁忙

Dying..

Worried..

Hibernation.. =.="

Again n Again tagged..

Again tagged..

Birthday

Scar

NO IDEA

AWAY~!!

1st Contact With Alcohol

Wedding..My Dream

tagged!?

Rush rush rush~

思想之一。观点